#concern with the power going out. I genuinely don't mind stuff like having to go to the bathroom in buckets or cook over a fire or do other

[icewindandboringhorror]

sneeping with his legs up over his head for some reason... weird boye

[kingkat12]

procrastination (roman godfrey x reader)

WARNINGS: FLUFF, biting, suggestive content, mentions of sex

summary: Roman knows exactly why you're up so late-- and now it's time to get you to admit it and go to bed

word count: 1,155

a/n: enjoy this oneshot i wrote at one a.m. yesterday to talk myself into going to sleep, and i hope it might work as efficiently for u as well<3333

"You should go to bed,"

I turned away from my computer, staring back at Roman with an annoyed look in my eyes-- still, I was sure he would spot the heaviness of my lids instead, along with the way my lashes moved in slow strokes as I continued to battle sleep. "I can't. I have to finish this,"

"You don't have to do anything at all," he murmured, taking off his reading glasses as he put today's paper down in his lap-- I was glad he finally wore them after I had dragged him to the optician to get a prescription. "This is just yesterday's argument all over again."

I cocked a brow; "We're not arguing, though?"

"... You know what I mean,"

"We didn't exactly argue yesterday, either,"

Roman sighed, the yellow hues of a lamp nearby dipping into the golden brown of his hair. "Yeah, you're right," He placed the paper next to him on the couch, crossing his legs as he stared back at me. I wasn't sitting too far away as he had allowed me to use his home office today, and he was on the couch a little further away from the desk. I loved being in this room; it smelled like Roman. It looked like Roman. Everything from the minimalistic style of the interior to the whisky glasses scattered all around the room which he had forgotten to put coasters beneath. He continued; "We didn't argue, and I'm not going to argue with you now either. I'm simply saying that you don't have to get that stuff done right now."

"But--"

"It's not life or death, is it?" Roman shifted, uncrossing his legs as he moved to the edge of the couch. "How much work do you really think you can get done at one in the morning?"

I shrugged. Being put on the spot like this wasn't my favourite thing in the world. Realizing I had to get real with him to get my point across, I let my shoulders slump as I rolled the office chair an inch or two away from my previous spot near the desk. I had to do everything in my power to not start spinning around on it like I usually liked to do with chairs like these. "I don't want to sleep, though,"

Roman nodded, ready to attack the root of the problem; "Why?" he asked, voice soft and gentle. 

I wanted to shut down. Go quiet again and get back to work. Still, I had a feeling this was coming from genuine concern-- and when Roman Godfrey is concerned about your sleep schedule, you know something is off. "I've procrastinated all day," I mumbled, tapping my fingers against the table as I grew uncomfortable with the truth I had suppressed. "I'm procrastinating now. And if I don't make my mind busy with something, I will think about the fact that I haven't gotten anything done today."

Humming, Roman folded his arms over his chest as he listened. Had he not been my boyfriend, I could've mistaken him for my therapist. "You staying up any longer won't change that, though,"

"Yeah," I breathed, no longer meeting his gaze. "But at least I'm not rolling around in bed right now feeling guilty about it." My sentence ended with a sigh, and it didn't take long before I drove my elbows against the hard wood of the desk and buried my face in my hands. Just talking about sleeping made me further exhausted-- was this what he wanted to get out of this conversation? My next words were muffled against my palms; "You don't have to stay up with me, if that's what you're doing. You should get some sleep."

Roman remained quiet, nodding to himself as he kicked back on the couch and ended up in a casual manspread. He grabbed the paper beside him-- "I'll make myself busy with this crossword. By the time I'm done, I hope you've come to your senses,"

I peeked at him through my fingers, and I couldn't help the confusion coursing through my veins as I spotted him reaching for a pen. Was he actually going to do this? Roman Godfrey... doing a crossword puzzle? I must've opened a portal into an alternative universe with my whining. "Come to my senses about what?"

Roman shrugged, filling in his first word on the paper as he no longer met my gaze. "How much nicer it would be to roll around in bed with me instead of doing whatever it is you're doing on your computer,"

Oh. He had a point. I hated when he did that. "Doesn't sound like we'd be getting much sleep that way either,"

Roman chuckled softly, mostly to himself, and wrote down another vertical word across the puzzle. "Perv,"

"... Me?"

"Yes, you," He tsked, pulling his pen away to think about which word to go for next. "Rolling around in bed doesn't have necessarily to mean sex."

I cocked a brow-- "Roman, are you perhaps having a stroke? Everything usually means sex when you're the one talking,"

"Well, tonight I'm a new man," He smiled as he found the answer for a word going across, finally meeting my eyes as he finished filling in the empty slots. "What do you say about making out like we're sixteen and sexually repressed?"

I nearly choked on air. "That's specific,"

"I'm not denying that,"

"How is that different from just... making out like usual?"

Roman leaned his head against the back of the couch, staring up at the ceiling as he thought out loud; "I think it'd just be messier. So uncoordinated that we'd constantly be knocking teeth,"

It was impossible not to laugh-- "You want to knock teeth, Roman?"

He turned his head to me, his green eyes meeting mine with the loveliest of smiles. "Fuck yeah. I'll even bite you if we get that far,"

"... Christ," With a giggle, I shut my laptop. "Fine! I'll go to bed, but only if you promise to keep your teeth far away from mine."

Roman sucked in a sharp breath as he got up to approach me. He spun the chair to make me face him, and he leaned down far enough for his hot breath to graze my cheek; "Actually, I'll bite you right now if you don't get out of my chair, young lady,"

Oh, I loved this mood of his. "Your chair?"

"Yes. My chair," His classic smirk made an appearance as his eyes darkened; "And my girl." 

It didn't take long before Roman scooped me up, hoisting me over his shoulder as I yelped. Still, I knew there was no fighting him. If I did, I'd get another one of those bite marks on my thighs that would linger for days, and I couldn't go through that again. To be frank, I planned to wear more short skirts going forward-- I was visiting his actual office tomorrow, and I planned to make my visit one he'd remember for longer than I had ever had a bite mark lingering on my skin.

[mins-fins]

orbit of yours !

"power couple, really?" "you have to listen to me!"

synopsis: park jisung has always admired you. hardworking, effortlessly beautiful, talented, humble— you're pretty much the personification of the word 'perfect' (you would disagree though), but your relationship has never gotten past "admirers that occasionally exchange words", so jisung has vanquished the idea of possibly being in love with you because of your lack of interactions, he's just an avid admirer of yours! so when a few accidents and mishaps force (more like drive) the two of you to be in the same room more than you ever had in the past, the idea doesn't just remain a random fantasy crafted by jisung's mind, it becomes reality.

pairing: park jisung x male!reader

genre: high school au, acquaintances to friends to lovers, photographer!reader x soccer player!jisung, fluff, kinda comedy (im not funny), mutual pining, literally no angst, fast burn lowkey, sungchan helps reader realize his feelings and it's hilarious

warnings: swearing, mentions of burnout, oblivious bitches deny their feelings for a good 10k words, this is fucking cheesy, the nightmare which is senior year

word count: 12.2k

notes: GOOD LORD IT IS FINALLY DONE! i don't wanna be overdramatic or anything but this is genuinely one of my most favorite works ever, if you couldn't tell i am VERY jisung biased and im so happy to finally be done with this because it's honestly been so fun to write 🙁 i didn't beat the xiaojun fic in terms of words but this the second longest fic i have ever written and for my jisung debut its impressive that there is absolutely NO ANGST here, i'm just very proud of myself for this and i hope people like reading it as much as i enjoyed writing it.. this is for all the park jisung lovers 👍

"WHEN WILL YOU ACTUALLY GET A PARTNER?" chenle asks the question so many times that jisung assumes the sentence has been programmed into his brain. what is it— like the 3rd time this week? he thinks chenle might be more obsessed with his love life than he is with actual important things, like college, graduation preparations, his role as a member of the student council, anything but jisung's uneventful love life, because that was probably the least interesting thing going on in his own life at the moment. "come on jisungie! i heard aejung has a crush on you!" he lets out a familiar groan, giving his friends a 'cut it out' look. "i don't really care about that kind of stuff.."

he hears all the frustrated sighs from his friends, and jisung just chuckles. he knows about the many surprisingly many— people who find themselves attracted to him. he acknowledges the fact that he has a lot of admirers, that a lot of people would perceive themselves as lucky to be in a relationship with him, he isn't new to the idea at all, he doesn't really get what makes him so attractive, such an eyeopener to his fellow students, but he mostly accepts the gifts given to him by his so called "admirers" nonetheless, not wanting to make them disappointed.

now, he says mostly because there are just times where he has no choice but to turn them down. some people get into their own heads too much, and he doesn't want to give some of them false hopes by accepting their gifts. that happened once, where a girl thought the two of them were dating because he decided to accept her gift as a sign of appreciation, that's when jisung learned that he couldn't just accept any and all gifts given to him by admirers who so greatly wanted a chance with him. jisung isn't so concerned about gifts, he wants a person who will be psychically and emotionally present for him, not someone who'll just buy him random things.

"it's gotten a little annoying.. all the confessions" jisung mutters, closing the textbook he had been jotting in. "they're nice yeah but some people just take it too far" he finally finishes, earning some confused looks from his friends. he just shrugs, shoving the textbook he had previously been jotting in into his backpack.

"but you're just so boring!" chenle whines, pressing his cheek against jisung's shoulder. jisung doesn't even try shaking him off, knowing that any of his attempts will be useless. "come on! all these people who would love to be with you and your still a lonely little loser!"

"loser? oh come on!"

"you know i'm right!"

jisung scoffs, lightly shoving chenle. while yeah, it's nice to have a lot of people admire him, everyone expects him to do this and that and act a certain way. it's like they enjoy perpetuating a false image onto him rather than actually admiring him for who he really is, and jisung doesn't think he should give people like that the time of day, they piss him off more than anything.

he's a little lost in his thought when a familiar voice sounds in his ears, a couple of giggles following the sound. "you're too funny y/n!" one of them shouted, poking a familiar figure in the shoulder, and jisung's eyes fall on you immediately, as if on instinct. you were looking as you always did, a familiar dslr camera hanging from your neck, that polite smile on your face as your friend continues poking your shoulder.

lately, you'd been quite the topic of interest among your fellow schoolmates. now that's not abnormal at all, you somehow always manage to be the talk of the town in school, you could do the smallest thing and somehow people could still make huge talk about it.

jisung would never say it, not out loud or even in mutters to himself, but he's always held a unique admiration for you, one he doesn't think he could actually put into words. there's something about you that pulls jisung in, like your a magnet and he's an oblivious piece of metal, slowly getting closer and closer to you without being able to do anything about it.

everything about you is beautiful. your eyes are a beautiful brown color, your smile is a beautiful stretch that shows off your perfect white teeth, your hair is a beautiful mix of raven and brunette. oh, and your voice is so beautiful too, it's so soft, gentle, but also deep.

you're like an angel.

at least to jisung you are.

it's pretty funny, actually, your so wrapped up in your own things that you barely notice the sheer amount of people who want to date you. you don't acknowledge romantic advances a lot, and even when you do, it always ends in rejection. you talk a lot, and your words are always pure and witty, your laughter is natural, your smile is contagious.

but.. jisung doesn't like you. he only likes you in the friend kinda way, he just wants to be friends with you. you look nice! smell nice, dress nice, speak nice..

jisung knows a lot more about you than his friends do. despite the fact that the two of you have never officially deemed yourselves "friends", he's always known little facts about you, as you him. the two of you have been going to school together for seven years, so the idea of not knowing anything about each other seems ridiculous.

you're a photographer, your favorite color is blue, specifically lighter shades, your favorite subject is history, your lucky number is 2 because of your birthdate being 02/02/02, your favorite flowers are daisies, you don't really enjoy sports, but if you were to choose one to play, it'd be baseball, and you want to go to college for journalism.

but jisung can't say that he likes you, because even if you two know all these things about each other, you've never considered yourselves "friends", all you do is admire from afar—

and when you do interact, it's just short and sweet sentences exchanged between you two, mostly because the both of you are so busy, that you can't afford to just stop and talk. sometimes, jisung wishes his life was just a little less hectic and he could stop and talk to you, because that's what he wants to do.

"what's with you?" jisung immediately yelps as chenle flicks his forehead, and he resists the urge to punch the older in the face. "gawking at y/n? really?"

"i'm not—" jisung hates that he feels his face burn. "i'm not gawking, i'm just.. i was just looking at him".

"looking at him with hearts in your eyes".

jisung scoffs at chenle's audacity, as if he wasn't doing exactly that a good few minutes ago. he would never admit it out loud before, so why should he admit it now? he'd never live it down if anybody ever found out..

"you know.." chenle begins, tapping his finger onto the desk in front of him. "you two would be a great couple" and the words are enough to make jisung roll his eyes once again. "a power couple!"

"power couple, really?" jisung raises an eyebrow, chenle never fails to say something that confuses him. he finds the words to be ridiculous, but his reaction just seems to make chenle even more giddy, because he continues;

"you have to listen to me!" chenle persists, and jisung is about to check out of the conversation completely.

"y/n is a photographer for sports journalism, you play soccer, you've known each for what.. ever? he's pretty, you clearly have the hots for him—"

"i do not!" jisung immediately yells in rebuttal, much louder than he wanted to. "yeah he's.. cute but anyone with eyes can see that, i'm not in love with him or anything".

chenle raises an eyebrow, suspicious, but jisung remains stubborn, crossing his arms as he averts his gaze from his best friend.

yes, you are cute, anybody with two functioning eyes can see that.

"i think park jisung might have a crush on you".

at the words, you look up from your camera, meeting eyes with your close friend, sungchan. you blink, as if dumbfounded, then snicker. "park jisung? are you trying to boost my ego or something?"

you know park jisung, you know about how probably half the students in this room dream of having a chance with him. so many people like park jisung, so many people want park jisung.

and if you think about it, you can't exactly blame them for that..

"don't laugh! i'm serious! he looked like he was about to devour you, did you see his eyes!?"

the words just get another laugh out of you, the words seem ridiculous in your eyes, because why would park jisung, beautiful, talented, striking park jisung have a crush on you? in your eyes, your pretty much nothing to him.

"okay.. why would park jisung ever be interested in me?" you ask, rearranging your camera as you raise an eyebrow at sungchan, who simply deadpans at you, that familiar 'are you serious?' look in his eyes.

"okay let me see, your smart, pretty, everyone likes you at this point, also— the two of you are pretty much perfect for each other! you'd be a power couple!"

you furrow your eyebrows, a power couple? you'd never heard that phrase used to talk about somebody your friends had been "shipping" you with, your not even sure if you can even consider yourself friends with jisung, because the two of you can never actually talk to each other without someone coming up and interrupting the interaction.

you'd love to just be able to talk to park jisung, just the two of you, one on one.

"power couple? that's funny.."

"you think everything is funny" ironically, you laugh at your friends words. "this could be like— your only chance at having an actual romantic connection with someone".

"i don't care that much about romance, chan" you muse, humming as you turn off your camera. your eyes wander over to jisung, who is very much distracted by something stupid chenle is saying, he's laughing about something, laughing hard too.

there is no reason for him to look so pretty as he laughs like a maniac..

he's cute, you say in your mind, he is absolutely adorable.

"WHAT DID YOU GUYS GET ON THAT STATISTICS TEST FOR SONG?" a boy from the same year and member of the soccer team along with jisung inquired. they sat on the bleachers in front of field, watching as the baton club practices. they have to practice this week, unfortunately, so jisung's schedule had become tight and packed, he barely had any free time these days, it was all exams, college tours, last minute extracurriculars, and practice, practice, practice. "i got a b plus" one of his classmates responds, the other responded; "i got a b on mine". jisung was very far removed from the current conversation, his eyes on a familiar trio of sports journalists on the other side of the field, a trio which included you, mesmerizing you. he sees you often these days, with that same dslr camera around your neck, a pretty smile stuck on your face.

"you, jisung! what score did you get?" one of his classmates asks, but jisung was occupied, so he didn't answer. a tap on his shoulder makes jisung snap out of his staring fit, and he blinks a few times, assessing where he is. "what?"

"we were asking about the marks on the recent statistics test!"

"ah" jisung presses his lips together. "i got an a plus" he says the words casually, but it causes for a cheer to be sounded by his fellow classmates, who shook him and slapped his back supportively.

"you're so smart jisungie!"

the praise from his classmates get a smile out of jisung, but he isn't focusing on that, his attention is on you. even with how your across the field, he can clearly see all of your features, the sun shining on your face makes you look majestic, like an actual angel, jisung isn't sure why he's even focusing so much on your face, but he can't focus on anything else, because his eyes just naturally always wander over to you.

"will this ever finish?" you inquire, pertaining to the baton club, who were still on the field even after they were supposed to get off. "i'm supposed to take photos of the soccer players for my editorials.." you mutter, it'd be horrible if you couldn't even deliver on the promise you made to your superiors.

"they're probably going to split the field" your fellow sports journalist, taehyun says. a small groan escapes your lips, you're annoyed, you hope this doesn't interfere with the photos you have to take, it'd be horrible if you just ended up doing the same thing all over again. "see? baton club is taking one side and the soccer team takes the main area because they need to start practicing now".

"they look so cute! i've always wanted to be apart of the soccer team!" lee sohee exclaims, and you turn towards him, a look of interest on your face. he attentively watches the boys, humming to the song that's playing. "why didn't you join them then?" you inquire, interest peaked.

sohee smiles at you, readjusting his camera and fixing his posture. "i enjoyed writing the editorial articles more" he shrugs. "wanted to try out but i missed the tryouts because eunseok hyung would have killed me if i missed anton's recital" at the words, you laugh, used to the behavior from the older boy.

"maybe next year".

"you'd fit in perfectly!" taehyun muses, and sohee brightens up, seemingly loving the words.

"really!? that's what seunghan tells me too!" he cheers at the words, looking proud of himself. "i'd look cute in that uniform though.."

you chuckle at sohee's word, finding him to be absolutely adorable. "yeah, you definitely would" you ruffle his hair, smiling at the giggle which sounds from the boy.

"i'm gonna go get a closer look at them" you say, motioning towards the soccer team. taehyun nods and watches as you get closer to the field, not super close, but close enough that your camera can capture a good view of the soccer team. you narrow your eyes, pointing your camera at the busy boys who are doing their usual routine, the viewfinder shows jisung in all his glory.

you take pictures, zooming in and out. you don't mean to put all the focus on jisung, he's just too alluring to not be the center of attention. he's such a natural, he's just so amazing, you can't not focus on him.

[click.]

and another shot, another one as jisung scores the goal. jisung's posture was perfect, his back straight, chin high as he wore an angelic smile. jisung hears the clicking of the camera, and looks to his left to see you, in the viewfinder you see jisung looking in your direction, you pause for a moment and notice a baton heading straight towards him.

"jisung watch out!" you yell, at the words, he tilts his head.

you quickly take the strap of the camera off your neck, throwing it until it landed right beside your fellow journalists, who looked as confused as jisung did. you ran as fast as you could, grabbing jisung's wrist and pulling him close to you.

the baton managed to hit the ground instead, and jisung shrieks as he loses his balance, toppling forward. he quickly grabs onto the closest thing to him.

you.

you lowered your arms to catch jisung, and you feel him hold onto the sleeves of your blazer, one of your arms on his stomach, the other on his waist. all his weight was in your arms, causing for you to lose balance too.

"shit—" you swear, falling onto your back. jisung fell on top of you, the grass tickling his skin. your back immediately hits the grass, and your head hits the ground softly, but your arms remain around jisung. jisung's hands were still on your arms, his upper body laid on top of yours, his head was buried into your shoulder, and he was sat in between your legs.

jisung takes a sharp breath, a look of worry quickly flashes in his eyes as he sees you. "holy shit y/n are you okay!?" jisung asks, pulling away from your prior position and you sit up, opening your eyes to meet his worried ones. jisung kneels, leaning closer to you as he cups your cheeks with his hands. "did you get hurt? is your head okay!?" he asks, or yells, turning your head to inspect for any signs of wounds. you just stare at him, his bangs that messily lay against his forehead, his eyes that glimmered under the sunlight, and his pink lips that you totally just want to lean over and touch with your own.

"yeah.." you whisper, your cheeks squished from the force of jisung's hands.

jisung stops turning your head and sighs. "are you sure?" he asks, still holding your face. you nod, placing one of your hands on jisung's, his are soft, yours are rough, you note. you move his hand and smile. "i'm alright don't worry" you respond, still holding jisung's hand. jisung pursues his lips, and he extends his hand out, pulling you up from the ground. you let go of his hand, dusting off your pants.

"jesus y/n" taehyun's voice sounds from behind you, and you finally glance away from jisung, eyes focused on your friend. "are you okay? your not injured are you?"

"i'm fine.." you mumble again, blinking as taehyun suddenly hands you your camera. ah, he'd picked it up for you. you take it, inspecting it to make sure it's not broken.

"is the camera okay?" jisung inquires, looking over your shoulder to stare at it.

luckily, it wasn't damaged because it had fallen on the soft grass. "it's still working" you respond, and the two boys beside you let out a sigh of relief, with taehyun placing a hand on his chest.

"jisung! come back here!" his coach quickly yells, jisung looks to you, then back to his teammates. "thanks, i owe you" he says before running back towards his group, fetching the soccer ball he'd left on the ground prior.

"wow your like a hero!" sohee exclaims, shaking your shoulder with a smile. you just let out a nervous laugh, scratching your arm. you give one last glance at jisung before you feel your face heat up excessively, so you quickly turn away, putting your camera back around your neck.

"we should go back in now" you say, you don't say any more words as you quickly make your way towards the doors. your friends blink, exchanging glances in confusion, but they quickly follow you back inside.

"y/n! wait up!"

jisung watches you three leave, feeling his heart racing against his chest.

what the hell just happened? he asks himself.

"jisung are you okay!?" a very familiar voice shrieks. jisung turns to meet his fellow teammate jooyeon, looking concerned as ever.

"i'm alright, thanks for asking" he answers, gaze lowering down to his nails, which he quickly starts picking.

"are you sure? you looked like you hit your head pretty hard" the younger boy, as always, just wants to make sure jisung isn't lying, he's genuine like that. he pokes jisung's forehead, as if he was inspecting him.

"seriously, i'm fine" jisung lowers his hand, giving him his default 'i'm okay' smile. "y/n cushioned the blow anyway.."

"you were so close to him!" jisung startles as keum donghyun comes out of nowhere. "how did it feel? was it like a dream come true?"

"i—" jisung is speechless, he closes his mouth and blinks a good seven times before even actually assessing the question.

how did it feel?

jisung doesn't know how to express it. he didn't want to think about it in that way because you'd just done such a good deed, you saved him from flying metal going straight towards his head, he shouldn't have been thinking about the lack of distance between you two, he shouldn't have been staring at your lips, and he shouldn't have been thinking about kissing you.

his face must be so unbearably red right now.

"don't ask that! it was just very abrupt.. also, i can't think of him like that! he saved me from a flying baton, i'm just grateful for him".

jooyeon hums in agreement, slapping donghyun's shoulder for him ever asking such a thing. "that's right, you should probably get him a token of appreciation or something".

jisung blinks, trying to imagine what he should ever gift you. he truly has no idea, he's not sure if he should go over and beyond, or just give you a little gift as to not intimidate you. "i can't really think of anything, i don't want to overwhelm him or something, he just wanted to do a nice thing.."

"i'm sure he'll be appreciative of anything!"

at the words, jisung just sighs, smiling.

what a hero, l/n y/n— you really are something, he thinks.

"yeah— i'll think about it".

"good! back to practice now!"

jisung doesn't think he will ever fully be able to focus on practice, though.

"YOU LOOK LIKE YOU'VE BEEN RAN OVER BY A TRAIN" the words from the older boy, yang jeongin, snap you out of your polaroid staring daze. you flinch just the slightest, eyes peeling away from the scattering pictures which litter your desk. you rub your eyes, clearing your throat as you quickly gather all of the photos on your desk, hoping the eye bags present on your face weren't completely obvious. knowing jeongin though, they were definitely obvious. "thanks for the kind words" you respond sarcastically, a small eye roll accompanying your words. the older boy snickers, situating himself beside you, a teasing smile on his face. he props his legs up, blinking at you. "seriously though, you look like you haven't slept in years, are you alright?"

"i'm as alright as someone looking to pursue journalism can be.." you mutter back, placing the photos which were previously on your desk into your backup, a small sigh escapes your lips. "all of my applications are still pending.."

"seriously? i assume you would've been accepted into any of those schools by now!"

"you know how it all goes, they get hundreds— heck, thousands of applications every day, i just have to be patient".

jeongin raises an eyebrow, then just shrugs at you, humming. "there's no need to worry, y/n, you'll get into a good school".

you chuckle at his words, he totally read your mind when it came to that. "i'm not worried about anything" you lie; "i'll be okay, i know".

but do you?

your absolutely tired the whole entire day, you tried your best to focus in your classes, but you couldn't help your head slipping down and the way you almost slipped off to dreamland whilst your teachers were asking you very much audible questions.

"did you sleep last night?" sungchan asks you in the middle of your afternoon break, poking your arm as if to wake up. "you look like a zombie.."

"i slept a few.. hours?" your tone is very much a questioning one, as if you didn't even believe your own words. "i don't know, i was too busy fighting with lin, apparently i'm not good enough at what i do to consider journalism".

paired with the lack of response to your several applications, you weren't having the best week, it was all becoming just a little too much for you.

graduation is just too far away..

"anyway! did you choose the photos you'll put in the editorial yet?"

you think, for a while. you felt as if you had stared at so many polaroids by this point, that they're probably going to start appearing in your dreams, with the lack of sleep, constant flashing of cameras and just news news news, you've really had no time to focus on other things.

"i haven't even found time to think about the editorial" you whine, a weary sigh escaping your lips as you think about how pissed off your higher up is gonna be if you almost miss the deadline once again. "is the deadline coming up?"

"well— is four days a close deadline for you?"

you gasp, loudly, almost throwing your camera across the hallway. "four days!? four days until the deadline seriously!?"

you usually aren't like this. you are usually very calm, cool, and collected, but your week has been just the definition of a shit storm, and everything just seems getting worse and worse.

"hey, it's okay!" sungchan immediately replies, hoping to reassure you. he places a hand on your shoulder, a smile coming to his face. "it's not like this is anything new, it'll all be fine, you only have to choose two pictures anyway".

you sigh, rubbing your temples. "yeah" you breath. "it'll be fine, fine" you repeat, nodding your head as you relax yourself.

the hallway is crowded, not crowded crowded, but crowded enough that you couldn't help but begin counting the heads around you.

your eyes get stuck on a familiar figure across the hall.

park jisung, smiling and laughing with his friends. you get lost in a trance of admiring him, even though you can clearly hear sungchan talking to you. all your attention is immediately on him, and a small smile spreads across your face as you observe him, being himself.

there is absolutely no reason for him to be so breathtaking while just talking with his friend!

you are so distracted, and you don't mean to get stuck in this little reverie as you stare at the boy that you totally do not have a crush on.

he hasn't really left your mind, instead of just floating around in there like he'd been before that whole prior incident, now he occupies a whole subsection of your mind in recent days. you could be with your other friends, and all of a sudden your mind would wander off to jisung, or you could be in class and he just pops into your head.

you never thought you'd be one to get distracted easily, but you've clearly been proven wrong by just the alluring aura of park jisung.

you startle when jisung turns your way, making eye contact with you. he smiles upon noticing you, his eyes practically lighting up, and he waves at you. your a little taken aback, but jisung doesn't wait to see you wave back, just turning back towards his friend and continuing his previous conversation.

"what was that?"

"what was what?"

you quickly look over at sungchan, who had just witnessed that whole entire scene. he looks at you like you just grew a second head, and your face begins to burn as the realization dawns on you.

"you and park jisung!?"

your quick to try and sputter out a response, but you shake your head, face excessively heating up, it's probably red at this very moment. "there is nothing going on between us!"

"that doesn't seem like nothing!"

you realize how guilty you look right now. with your red face and constant insistence that there is absolutely nothing going on, those are traits the guiltiest of people display, and it all just makes you look even more guilty with how your face gets even more red.

(you must look like you're dying right now).

"it's just a friendly exchange!"

"not while your looking at him with hearts in your eyes!"

he was completely calling you out, and he was right. you were staring at jisung like he was an angel that had graced your presence, you stare at him like he's a saint and everyone else doesn't matter, as if he's the only person in the room. "i— i wasn't! i was just zoned out and he just waved at me to say hi!"

sungchan narrows his eyes suspiciously at you, totally not buying it. "uh huh, sure" his voice conveys disbelief. "just know, i'm onto you y/n".

you nudge him in the shoulder, seriously wanting to change the topic. "yeah yeah whatever" you cross your arms as you mutter the words, you're sure if you take one more glance at jisung, you won't be able to look away, so you just clear your throat and walk the other way, face still red as sungchan teases you the whole entire time.

maybe if you glanced back, you'd see jisung watching as you left..

JISUNG WAS REALLY HOPING HE'D BE ABLE TO catch you before school dismissed. you two haven't genuinely had an actual talk since you saved him from the flying baton heading straight towards his head. all you two have done is give smiles, waves, and mutter small greetings to each other in the hallway. he had to admit, it upset him in just the slightest, because he really did want to just have a conversation with you (of course, he isn't exactly sure he'd be able to get through a conversation with you without blushing like a madman anyway), but your schedules just kept conflicting, so even catching a glimpse of you around the campus has become difficult for him to do.

he doesn't want to waste any opportunity he has in his hands—

"y/n!"

when jisung sees you across the hall, he realizes that he shouldn't take this chance for granted. you turn around at the call of your name, smiling as you see the others making his way towards you. jisung runs a hand through his hair, hoping he isn't making anything awkward. "jisung hi, do you need something?"

you smile politely at him, a smile so beautiful it seems like it could get rid of all the problems in the world. jisung loves your smile, he could stare at it for hours, is that creepy? he hopes it's not creepy..

"oh uh—" the words he'd been planning to say somehow get caught in his throat, but he clears his throat and proceeds. "i was wondering if i could walk you home?"

you blink, puzzled by the question. why would he want to walk you home? your mind begins to wander, trying to figure out why he'd want to do such a thing.

can't you just ask y/n? stop being an idiot..

"why?"

you don't mean for your words to come out that way, and you're almost afraid that you made jisung uncomfortable with your tone of voice, but he instead just smiles, squashing any of your bad thoughts. you love jisung's smile, you think it's underrated, so little people talk about it and the fact shocks you, you could probably compliment his smile for hours—

but that sounds just a little creepy.

"i just want to accompany you—" —and this is my only excuse to be around you— "do something nice for you after you did something nice for me".

the words make you pause. he's just.. so thoughtful huh? you've never heard of someone wanting to repay you for being nice, it's actually a little strange if you think about it.

"jisung you don't have to reward me for doing something nice.."

"it'd be great to walk with you, though, you make good company".

that's it? that's really it?

you're not sure why you're surprised about that, maybe it's just the idea that he literally searched for you just to say this, he truly just wants to walk you home, he truly just wants to spend time with you.

he thinks i make good company, just the thought alone is enough to make you giggle in your head. your inner thoughts sound ridiculous, but you can't help them.

"if you don't want me to it's totally oka—"

"no no no" you immediately cut into his sentence, hoping that didn't come off as desperate as it sounded. "i'm glad you offered to walk me home, i'd love to walk with you too".

you unsuccessfully try to mutter those last few words, a sudden shyness taking over you. jisung smiles, glad, no, elated at your agreement. he doesn't know why he's that happy, but he hopes it isn't clear and evident, he'd never live it down.

after bidding a goodbye to your friends, and telling sungchan you'd make sure to choose the photos for your editorials, you dragged jisung out of the school doors, much to your and jisung's surprise, as well as the shock of a few of your classmates, he made sure to eye the both of you suspiciously.

"what interested you in photography?"

a scene like this is something jisung thought he'd never get to, being able to talk to you, one on one. just the two of you sharing a simple conversation is what he's wanted for an uncharted amount of time, even with how straightforward it is, the two of you could never really find time to converse normally.

when jisung asks the question, you almost think you heard him wrong. he genuinely wants to know? in a way, you feel like you've always been just the slightest bit boring, yeah you wanna do journalism and love taking aesthetically pleasing photos but you've never considered what you do to be a talent by any means.

you pick at your fingers, looking down at the ground instead of at jisung. "it's an interest i picked up from my mother, i've always been shocked how she could just do that, you know? i love videography and stuff like that as well, i love how one can capture so much with just a single camera".

your words intrigue jisung, and he listened the whole entire way, not interrupting you once. he found a smile crossing his face at the clear display of passion for your creative work, he loves the way you put it into words. god if he didn't admire you before, he surely did now.

"what about you? you're pretty much good at everything, what drew you to the adrenaline rushing excitement of soccer?"

jisung pauses, allowing himself to let out a small snicker at the question. "i don't really enjoy soccer".

you raise an eyebrow. "oh?"

jisung laughs again, your tone of voice amusing him. "don't say it like that.. it's not that i hate it, i'm just not as into it like everyone expects me to be, i got onto the school team and i've been stuck there ever since" there isn't exactly distaste in jisung's tone, he just states it casually, like how it is. his voice is just simple, mundane, he doesn't dislike soccer, it's just not what he's looking forward to do.

you love his honesty.

"i'm into other things in a much more passionate sense, like dance, soccer is just a hobby" he finally finishes, pulling his sleeves over his arms as he avoids eye contact with you.

"so no professional soccer player park jisung?"

"i think i'll leave it to the other guy to be known for that".

you chuckle at his words, okay, he's funny (you knew that already, you just had to reiterate it in your head). god how can a guy be so perfect? you get why people are so into jisung, he's charming even without trying. you feel like the luckiest guy on earth knowing he asked to walk you home.

"y/n, i'm a very.." jisung pauses, as if trying to articulate the words he was about to say. "i really admire you a lot".

you almost lose it.

park jisung, beautiful, talented, hardworking park jisung admires you? he is an admirer of yours? you don't even know what to say, you try your best to sputter out a response but your brain is practically malfunctioning. your face goes red, and you go silent for a few minutes.

"i don't get it" is what you say, and jisung just cocks his head towards the side, observing you. "what's so admirable about me?"

"do you want a list?"

oh i'd love that. "i don't think you should waste your time".

"i wouldn't be wasting my time" jisung smiles, his gaze focused on you and only you, there's a way he's looking at you that keeps you still, unable to look away from him. "i never get the chance to tell you, i'd love to talk about everything i admire about you".

when did jisung get so bold? he'll never know where this random confidence came from, but he has an opportunity, he can't let it go to waste. he has to bring it up to you.

"what i do is nothing incredible—"

"i would disagree".

you should be angry that jisung interrupted you, but you found yourself smiling at his words. he's so generous, he doesn't have to tell you this, he doesn't have to compliment you like this, but he's doing it on his own accord, he wants to.

"okay then.. is it a good time to tell you that i also feel the same?"

jisung's ears go red, so red that it looks like smoke is gonna start pouring out of them. he is shocked, absolutely speechless. you admire him? does that mean he's gotten it all wrong these past few years? does that mean you return his feelings as well—

wait what?

"oh really?"

the prior confidence jisung had when telling you about his admiration has now all fizzled away, his voice almost cracks as he tries to register your words, and thank god it doesn't.

"it's kind of like what you said, you're amazing, a very admirable person, i know you don't really think of yourself like that but i do, and it's nice to be able to tell you up front".

jisung remains silent, but you don't mind, you just give him a smile and continue walking forward, allowing for him to catch up to you.

"is that actually true?"

"why would i lie to you?" you turn around, your whole body facing him. you begin walking backwards and wait for jisung's reply to your question. "don't give me that look".

jisung frowns, a playful one, he sends you a cute little glare that makes you giggle. he's absolutely adorable, you think in your head, he's the cutest person ever right now.

"you admire me?"

"yep".

"more than i admire you?"

"definitely, and don't even try to argue with me".

jisung opens his mouth to do exactly that, but you stop, turning around as you make it to the front of your house. "okay well, thank you for walking me home, ji".

jisung raises an eyebrow, noting down the nickname in his head. it's a common nickname, but he loves the way it sounds coming from you, he loves that you didn't just drop his full name.

"it's no problem.."

"i—"

you're cut off by the sound of the door opening, and your met with the face of your mother, whose face immediately brightens at the sight of you. you smile at her, and jisung just kinda stands there awkwardly.

"hi honey" she wraps her arms around you, and you let her, leaning your head onto her shoulder. "i thought you were staying late today?"

you shake your head. "not today, it's friday remember?"

"ohhh, yeah".

jisung glances down at the ground, playing with his feet. he doesn't know what to say, he doesn't want to interrupt the conversation you're having with your mother—

but he doesn't have to say anything, because your mother pipes up.

"oh! and who might this be?" she narrows her eyes at jisung, cogs in her brain seem to turn but then she snaps his fingers and gasps, seemingly getting it. "oh my god! park jisung?"

jisung smiles, a little laugh escaping his lips. "that is me".

"holy, you've changed so much? the last time i saw you you were barely up to my knees!"

at the sound of your mothers words, you give jisung a teasing stare, one which he quickly turns away from. "you and y/n are finally friends? i was wondering when it'd happen.."

your face goes bright red at the words, and an awkward chuckle escapes your lips. "seems he was too, he always talked about it—"

"haha! what!? that's hilarious mom!" you quickly cut in, not wanting her to talk about your former ramblings about park jisung, park jisung who was right beside you. "yeah okay, jisung i'll see you monday?"

jisung nods, a little too desperately for his liking, luckily you don't notice. "yeah, monday, have a good weekend, y/n".

you smile, blood rushing through your cheeks. "be safe".

he gives a small wave and turns around, beginning the walk back towards his home.

"he's such a nice kid, you sure you're just friends?"

your jaw pretty much drops, and you give your mother a look you don't think you've ever shared with her before. "yes! just friends!"

"hmm, sure".

"WHO ARE THOSE FOR?" CHENLE asks as he immediately notices the goodies in jisung's hands. he raises an eyebrow suspiciously at his best friend, examining the bouquet of flowers and box jisung held. jisung ignores him for a couple of minutes, placing the box in his locker and closing it behind him. "for someone" he just replies, hoping he could just remain vague instead of telling chenle about his true plans. the older narrows his eyes, clearly curious about this 'someone'. he flicks jisung in the forehead, resulting in a yelp from the other, who glares. "ow! what was that for?" he asks, furrowing his eyebrows and rubbing his forehead, a frown now coming to his face.

"what you're hiding stuff from me now?" chenle rolls his eyes at jisung's frown. "who are those flowers for? you got a boyfriend or something?"

chenle was right in assuming it was a boy that was making him go crazy, but you aren't his boyfriend (not yet at least, he's trying, really). he doesn't want to exactly divulge his plans to his nosy best friend yet, just because he'd go around telling everybody he could about what jisung was doing, he didn't want anything to be spoiled.

"they're for.. y/n".

jisung winces the moment he says those words, because chenle goes absolutely crazy.

"FOR WHO!?"

jisung is quick to slap a hand over chenle's mouth, glaring at him for how loud he said those words. "could you be any more obvious?" he asks, gritting his teeth as he continues to glare at his shorter best friend, whose eyes just widen even more. "yes they're for y/n—"

"what are you two dating now?" chenle doesn't care about anything jisung has to say, he slaps his hand away and stares in interest, wanting to know more.

"no! were not dating! it's just—" jisung pauses, how is he even gonna explain this without looking super guilty? blood rushes through his cheeks as he thinks about it, about how these are your favorite flowers, about how you might react. "i wanted to get him something nice! he did a good thing and.."

and i am just so in love with him, i think i might be going insane.

"i just want to do something nice!"

"okay but are you doing something nice or are you getting ready to ask him out?"

jisung's face goes a dangerously red color, and he immediately shakes his head, denial coursing through his veins. "i'm not going to ask him out, i mean— i get why you think that but it's not what it looks like!"

chenle raises an eyebrow, staring at his totally lovestruck best friend. "it sure does seem to be what it looks like".

"chenle—"

"look, jisung, there's no need to deny that you have such an obvious crush on y/n" chenle states like it's a matter of a fact, because it is, they both know it very well, he's better at assessing jisung's feelings than jisung himself is. "he thinks your cute, you think he's cute, you two just need to ask each other out".

"um.." jisung presses his lips together, the two falling into a weird silence. he clutches the daisies in his hands, thinking about you, but he shuts off his thoughts to respond to chenle's little analysis of him.

"i just don't know where we stand, i mean we're barely even friends".

"you two are pretty much already more than friends considering he can't talk to you without looking like he's about to devour you whole".

jisung's face must be an astonishing shade of red right now. "it's not—! i don't know how to explain it okay!?"

"yeah and how are you gonna explain the flowers?" chenle points at the daisies jisung is practically squeezing to death. "other people are probably gonna get another idea".

"well i'll let them think what they want" jisung responds, his only focus is you, who cares what other people think? your his main priority. "y/n is my main focus, i don't care about what other people are saying".

chenle chuckles at his response, oh park jisung is so down bad, he's so in love with you, a kind of love chenle has never seen him have for another person. yes park jisung, love avoiding extraordinaire, is head over heels in love with a boy, chenle cannot believe it.

"okay jisung, go ahead with your wooing y/n mission or something".

at least chenle is supportive.

jisung has to go through so many interrogations to explain to your fellow photographers why he's giving you flowers, while a few of them just shrug and get it, the rest of them make sure to eye him suspiciously while he goes on with his explanation and bright red ears.

he knows most of them probably won't keep their mouths shut, and jisung knows that you told him he shouldn't get you anything for preventing him from getting any future brain damage, but jisung disagrees, he thinks you deserve gifts.

"who are those for?"

your brain doesn't register the flowers, or the connection that they have with your not-so-secret admirer, you just stare at them puzzled. "they're for you!" sohee yells from somewhere else in the room, focused on another important thing.

your eyebrows furrow, and you blink as you stare at the daisies on the table. daisies are your favorite flowers, but everyone knows that! these could be from anyone! you're no stranger to getting random gifts from people, so these could really be from anyone.

but you only have a certain person in mind..

"from who?" you ask, but you really already know who, considering the knowing look sohee sends to you.

"jisung".

of course, you say in your head, your fingers trace the packaging of the bouquet, admiring the pretty flowers before you (the pretty flowers given to you by a pretty boy), a small smile comes to your face as you think about it. you told jisung not to get you anything, but he obviously wasn't going to listen to you, he's made that very clear.

"did he tell you anything?"

sohee doesn't spare you another glance, but you can just tell he's grinning like a madman with the way he's clearly trying to hold in his laughter. "he just told me to make sure to get them to you, he was very insistent".

the teasing tone of your friends voice doesn't go unnoticed by you, and your barely able to stifle your laugh, not at sohee exactly, but at jisung's actions.

of course he didn't listen when you said for him to not get you anything, he remembered what your favorite flowers are, did he spend his weekend thinking about it? you wonder what kind of florists we must've went to.. your mind races with just jisung thoughts, and you're just so lost in them that you don't realize your zoning out.

oh park jisung, why do you have to be so sweet?

"DID YOU REALLY HAVE TO?" YOU immediately ask the moment you come across park jisung in the hallway. the boy blinks, smiling at the sight of you, his face practically brightens at the sight of you. "what do you mean?" he inquired innocently, a small tilt of his head adding to his question. you send him a glare, not a serious one, but it's still a glare. you can't even believe his audacity, for him to look at you with such beautiful eyes, make your knees feel weak without even having to do anything? park jisung is just such a crazy man, you don't know if you can stare at him any longer, you might end up passing out from heat exhaustion (the heat from your face, of course, something that's become so normal for you when around park jisung).

"don't 'what do you mean?' me, i told you not to get me anything!" you complain, lightly shoving jisung's shoulder. "seriously, i said it was fine.." you mumble those words, but jisung just smiles.

"i wanted to get you something anyway, i needed to show you my appreciation somehow".

but just your admiration is enough appreciation for me, just you being around is enough, just you is enough.

your own thoughts weird you out on occasions.

"i told you not to—"

"but i wanted to, it's fine y/n, seriously, just accept my gesture".

you bite your inner cheek, he just always has to be nice, doesn't he? your cheeks flare up and you swear your face goes a shade of red you've never seen before, how does one boy even affect you like this? you don't think you've ever acted like this around any of your other admirers ever..

"ah" a small smile comes to your face. "thank you" you whisper, you're not sure why you get so shy all of a sudden.

"it's no problem" jisung responds, a smile coming to his face. he closes the door to his locker, and then leans onto it. "walk with me?"

you blink, jisung really likes walking with you, huh? is this gonna become your thing? you wouldn't really mind when you think about it.. you enjoy walking with jisung, you just enjoy any time you can spend with jisung.

"what's with you and asking to walk with me?"

"walking with you is just.. nice".

"do i ease your stresses or something?"

your tone is meant to come off as teasing, and your question is mostly unserious, you don't register how you sound like your flirting with jisung, probably because everything just feels so natural with jisung, you love how you feel around him, it's confusing to explain.

"i guess you could say that" jisung's response snaps you out of your jisung focused thoughts, thoughts which are difficult to not get stuck in considering park jisung is constantly occupying your mind these days. "anyway, can you walk with me?"

you pause, tongue pressing against the inside of your cheek. you have class in twenty minutes, and you don't really want to walk back all the way with only five minutes left to make it to class. "i don't know.. chen might kill me".

"please?"

that catches you off guard, you seemingly forget how to think for a second. jisung really wants to walk with you so bad, he's reverting to that easily convincing voice of his? you'd be an idiot to say no, you'd be an idiot to deny anything given to you by park jisung, you sigh in your head.

"okay, fine".

a smile of victory places itself on jisung's face, and he takes your hand, to your own surprise, as the two of you begin making your way down the hall. you wanna bring it up, but you don't want him to let go of you, so you don't. your face goes a bright shade of red, jisung doesn't seem to mind, or maybe he's always wanted to hold your hand, you aren't sure.

you focus way too much on it, on the way it feels, how jisung's soft hands contrast your rough ones, how warm his hands are, you don't want to let go, you don't want him to let go. god, you feel like such a loser, freaking out over a boy holding your hand.

but it's not just a boy, it's park jisung, park jisung makes you feel things you thought you'd never feel before..

"why do you seem so worried?" jisung chuckles, his hand holding yours. he nudges your shoulder lightly, raising an eyebrow.

"because, i don't wanna be late".

jisung snickers, not making fun of you, though, he hopes you don't think that. "have you never skipped a class before?"

your eyes widen as large as saucers, model student park jisung has skipped classes? a small chuckle escaped your lips. "no, i could never bring myself to, it always made me feel strange.."

now it's jisung's turn to look surprised, you laugh again, why does he assume you skip classes? or have even attempted to skip? you wonder what goes through his mind. "are you serious? you've never tried to skip before?"

you scoff, pinching his arm. "i tried to once in the sixth grade because of a dare from friends, but i literally couldn't do it, they called me a wimp for the rest of the year".

"aww sad".

"don't give me your fake pity, also— you've skipped class before!?"

jisung chuckles at your surprise, giving a small smile. "it was a few times as a sophomore, some classes are just so boring i can't resist".

"wow, model student park jisung skips his classes? i cannot believe the information that has been bestowed upon me".

the words, paired with your sarcastic tone made jisung let out yet another snicker, he hopes he's not overdoing it in your eyes, you're genuinely just a very funny person. "oh no! don't use this secret to tarnish my pristine reputation!"

"you're such an idiot".

a cute idiot.

"be quiet, you still love me" jisung rebuts, adding a small nudge to your shoulder along with his words.

it's weird to say, but you like this. even with your totally non-romantic feelings for jisung, you find this nice. is this what dating him would be like? you get to hold hands and joke around in the halls without a care in the world? you think you'd enjoy that, you'd enjoy dating park jisung.

wait what?

you snap out of your thoughts when jisung stops, so you stop too. he lets go of your hand, and you resist the urge to frown, because you don't want to come off as desperate. (but you are desperate, you're so desperate, having park jisung hold your hand was so nice, you want him to hold it again).

"this is my stop, thank you for my walking with me".

the words are simple, basic, but you find your face heating up at them anyway. you clear your throat, not wanting to stay silent any longer. "it was no problem, i couldn't disagree anyway".

jisung laughs, he is so pretty, so pretty without even having to do anything significant. "of course you couldn't" he looks down at his feet. "anyway! have a good day y/n, don't be late to your next class!"

you blink as you watch jisung walk into the auditorium for his next class, you watch as he walks away, standing there for what seems like forever. how could a guy, just a guy affect you so much? what is it with park jisung and making you stop in your tracks? he's mesmerizing, just so easily draws you in.

your eyes widen as you realize the time, you're going to be late for your next class, mr. chen is going to kill you!

and as you totally sprint down the hallway to get to your next class, your mind is racing with thoughts of park jisung the entire time.

"AM I NOT YOUR BEST FRIEND?" YOU CAN practically hear the pout in sungchan's voice as he said those words. you place the extra polaroids on your desk, then glance up at your friend, who stares at you with an expression of defeat on his face. you raise an eyebrow, puzzled at what the actual hell he's talking about, he's always just bringing stuff up so randomly, you can't even keep up with what he's referring to now. sungchan just frowns, letting out a groan of frustration as plops down beside you, a small huff adding to his words. you chuckle at the way he decides to present himself, and he groans once again, very frustrated. "where is this coming from?"

"why didn't you tell me about you and jisung".

you pause, an expression of surprise comes to your face, your face which heats up astonishingly quickly. "me and jisung? me and jisung what? we aren't—"

"y/n there's no point in denying it, everyone already knows".

"everyone already knows what?"

"that you and jisung have a thing, it's fine if you don't wanna tell everyone but excluding me? your best friend in the whole entire world from the news?"

"jisung and i aren't dating!" you say immediately, clasping your hands together as you try to calm your rapidly beating heart. why do people even think that? yeah you like park jisung but how did people even reach the conclusion that you were dating? you're not even sure if jisung returns your feelings. "i don't even know where people got that idea.."

"so your constant yearning stares and pitched up giggles are all not apart of that?"

"i don't—" you are definitely showcasing all guilty characteristics, your red face, your shrill voice, and your very obvious lying, sungchan sees right through you, anyone would be able to. "yearning stares are stupid i don't do that!"

"yeah, sure y/n" sungchan sighs, and you groan, screaming into your pillow. "i'm not trying to be mean or anything, but it's disgustingly obvious that you're into jisung, and i mean in a cringy way".

you gasp in offense, turning away from your best friend. you want to remain stubborn, but you can't, of course you can't, how can you even deny your feelings for jisung anymore if other people can now tell that you like him? your face heats up in embarrassment, and you cover your face with your hands. "is it really that obvious?" you mutter, hoping the answer isn't what you think it is.

"yeah, very, i wouldn't even be surprised if the two of you were actually dating and this was a little trick of yours".

sungchan points at you, an accusatory look in his eyes, but he immediately lets it go, because he knows you, and he can tell that you are telling the truth. you don't even have the courage to look at him, still covering your face with your hands. "have you not told jisung how you feel yet?"

your silence tells sungchan everything he needs to know, and the look he gives you is absolutely criminal.

"YOU HAVEN'T!?"

"i haven't found any time too!"

"how much time have you been spending around jisung these days!? you haven't even tried to bring it up to him!"

you let yourself fall to the side, half your body hanging off your bed. "i don't know how to" you whine, mind immediately rushing to thoughts of park jisung, thoughts you probably shouldn't be having. "it's awkward!"

"well i'm sure jisung feels the same with the way he always has to resist the urge to kiss you in the hallway".

"with the way he WHAT!?"

the words are enough to make you rise from your formerly fallen state, a look of astonishment on your face. did jisung really return your feelings? or was sungchan just trying to start something that would end up absolute humiliation?

"y/n, not trying to be rude or anything, but it's so obvious that jisung wants to date you, he doesn't even have to say it for everyone to know!"

you feel like you just discovered the secrets of the universe with those words, park jisung likes you? like likes you likes you? once the realization dawns on you, you gasp loudly.

"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME!? OH MY GOD I CAN'T BELIEVE I WAS SUCH AN IDIOT UGH!"

sungchan watches you freak out, he truly can't believe that he had to tell you for all of it to finally set in.

it's actually pretty funny, and he snickers as he watches you go absolutely ballistic.

"HAVE YOU SEEN Y/N?" JISUNG ASKS the first recognizable person he sees in the hallway. he hasn't seen any seniors anywhere for a while, but that's because the days keep getting warmer, meaning graduation keeps getting closer, most of the seniors only take two classes and then go on to do their extracurriculars, so they don't really have to spend the whole entire day at school, but it's weird today because he usually always sees you, even when he isn't purposefully looking for you (which has become a common thing for him to do, he's just loves the time he can spend with you). he hopes you aren't absent, because today is friday, and if he doesn't tell you his important news now he's going have to wait an extra two days.

"y/n? uh..." the unfamiliar boy pauses for a moment, as if thinking, and jisung is hoping that it isn't the worst, because he really needs you to be here today. "well i'm not sure where he is actually! probably with his other photographers".

"but he's here right?" jisung doesn't care if he comes off as desperate, his only focus is you, you are his main priority, he doesn't care about the impression he's making on others, he can truly only think about you at the moment.

"yeah! i'm just not sure where exactly!"

"okay thank you!"

the guy gives him a strange look, a mix of teasing and giddy, but jisung walks off too fast to see it, he's set on finding you. he doesn't exactly know where he's supposed to go, he's just hoping to somehow spot you and be able to get you alone.

"what are you rushing for?" chenle comes out of nowhere, noticing jisung's urgency and the way he's clearly focused on something specific strikes him as odd, but he already has an idea of what's making jisung so fidgety. "you're gonna confess your love to y/n or something?"

"yes, actually i am chenle, it'd be great if i could find him, though".

maybe it's jisung's surprising honesty, or the way his main priority is you. chenle finds it amusing how quick the switch flipped, but it's also kind of cute. the usual pessimist, mr 'i don't really care about love' park jisung is down bad for a boy, it's adorable. "have you tried the photography room?"

"where do you think i'm heading?"

chenle chuckles at jisung's attitude, simply smiling and pulling his cheek. "alright then! don't forget to tell me how it goes!"

jisung doesn't spare chenle another glance, just turns back around and focuses on the task at hand, finding you and telling you how he feels.

jisung wonders how you'll react, based on what he's seen, it's not completely guaranteed that you'll reject him, it's probably more likely that you return his feelings rather than don't. does that make him horrible? thinking because you've exhibited the traits of someone who has a crush that you have a crush on him?

maybe you don't like him and he's letting it all get to his head, it all just seems too good to be true.

jisung doesn't even have to go all the way to the photography room, because he bumps right into you whilst on his way there, and a small yelp escapes your lips. "oh my god.. sorry!"

jisung cannot contain his excitement, and his nervousness. there is absolutely nothing to be nervous about, this is y/n. kind, understanding, charming y/n, it's not like he's going to scream at you for telling him you like him. it’ll all be fine.

"it's alright" you whisper, shaking your head for a moment. "i was looking for you" you immediately say, not allowing for jisung to speak before you.

jisung's eyes widen. you were looking for him? it makes his brain go haywire, figurative cogs in his head turning. "that's ironic, i was looking for you too".

jisung swears he can see the red coloring on your cheeks, but he doesn't say anything about it.

"i have to tell you something".

the two of you say that sentence in unison, the same amount of anxiety coursing through your veins, the same red hue on your cheeks, the same look of surprise in your eyes. "you can go first" you whisper, picking at your fingers, you aren't exactly sure if you want to hear what he's about to say.

"are you sure? it seems you have something more important to say.."

"it's fine! really, i can just say it after yo—"

"i'm in love with you".

the words strike you like a punch to the gut, a slap to the face. your stomach drops, your face is burning horribly, and your legs feel like they're about to give in. you cannot believe it, you hope you don't pass out, you hope you don't just die right here, that'd be so embarrassing.

park jisung is in love with you. beautiful, talented, model student park jisung who you've never truly known how you felt about is in love with you. you are so happy, giddy, and it disgusts you, but the disgust is quickly replaced by the feeling of joyousness. park jisung is in love with you, he feels the same way.

"jisung, i'm—"

"it's okay if you don't return my feelings i just wanted to tell you!" is that really what he thinks? that you don't love him back? he must be crazy, you've only ever exhibited reciprocal feelings. "i'll be off now!"

"no! don't go!" you grab jisung's wrist before he can walk away. smart move y/n, you're acting so natural right now. "i just, i return your feelings! i just don't know how to explain it, also my hands are very sweaty right now and i feel gross.."

you let go of jisung's wrist and feel your face get unbearably hotter. it's embarrassing, you feel so embarrassed, but it's park jisung, and jisung just stares at you lovingly. you're so cute, how did it take him this long to tell you how he felt?

"you're so cute".

jisung doesn’t even realize he says the words until you give him that look, and your red face just makes him giggle more. "this isn't— that is not fair! i was supposed to confess first!"

"you're the one who told me to go first!"

"i didn't know you were going to tell me you liked me! i prepared a whole sentence for you and everything!"

you whine, covering your red face with your hands. jisung removes your hands from your face, and a small smile graces his pretty features. he's absolutely gorgeous, he has such a pretty smile, you have the sudden urge to tell him about it. "your smile is beautiful".

now it's jisung's turn to become the red faced lovesick fool. "ah, really?" he responds, voice shaky, hands even more shaky, but they're so soft, your mind always reminds you to note that.

you hum in agreement. "it's very pretty, i can't believe more people don't talk about it".

"well you can talk about it, aren't we technically dating now?"

the question makes you pause. you feel like your about to go insane, you're dating park jisung? park jisung is your boyfriend? this is like a dream come true, a dream you thought would stay a dream and only a dream. "dating? dating! yeah yeah!"

your natural act is not natural at all, you are very nervous, so nervous you feel like your about to collapse onto the floor. "there's no need to be so nervous.."

you groan. "says you!"

"alright y/n" jisung lets go of your hands, much to your dismay, because you frown. he takes note, and reaches over to grab your own once again, intertwining your fingers. "we’re dating, you don't have to go red faced every time i compliment you now".

"but it's you, how do i not?"

jisung sighs, leaning forward and pressing a small peck on your lips. oh he is such a stupid little—

"why would you do that!?"

"i'm sorry!" jisung giggles, he was definitely not sorry. "it was an instinct, i had to!"

"you— ugh!"

park jisung can't just not make you nervous, he's such a crazy man.

one that you love, of course.

"I THINK I LIKE THIS ONE THE MOST.." JISUNG states, admiring the polaroid photos which litter the desk. you hum at his words, rummaging through the box on the counter, you are very much focused on finding that estranged camera taehyun had pointed for you to find. your boyfriend glances up, looking over your shoulder, silently watching as you get frustrated about this stupid camera you couldn't find. "which one?" you inquire, glancing over at him. jisung holds up the polaroid, a picture you'd taken of you and sungchan at the beach when you were nine. a pretty photo, you aren't even sure how you pulled it off. "ah, that is a pretty one" you whisper, and you smile the moment jisung smiles. his smile is so pretty, a cute stretch which is enough to make you smile, even if you feel down.

"what’s with your face?"

"searching for this old camera is pissing me off" you remark, knowing that you have to search for this is just making you even more mad, why do you have to pack the photography room right before graduation? you hate it. "who even left it in here?"

"a former student maybe?"

you close your eyes, sighing. "i need this to be over so much more quickly" you complain, and jisung just laughs at your misery.

"we graduate in a week, y/n, just be patient" the younger pokes your cheek, then he cups your face, trying to make your frown disappear. "an old camera is not the end of the world".

you glance down at jisung's lips, then narrow your eyes. "are you trying to seduce me?" you question, raising an eyebrow.

"no?" jisung responds, adding a small tilt of his head to his words. "do i sound believable?"

"not at all" you say, pushing jisung's hands away and looking back to the box in front of you so you can continue to scour for this camera you have to get for your friend. you continue to search through the box, trying to find this old dslr camera for your friend. "so don't distract me".

"i'm not!" jisung whines, wrapping his arms around your waist and placing his chin onto your shoulder, watching you try to succeed at your mission of finding a camera. "you don't want to give me, your lovely, amazing boyfriend attention?"

you merely roll your eyes at jisung, he's so annoying (in a cute way), you're about to call chenle to drag him away from you, but you also don't want him to let go of you, his arms around your waist make you feel safe, loved, park jisung makes you feel so loved.

"i found it!" you shriek, victory soaring in your voice. "fucking finally".

"okay so can you give me a kiss now?" jisung asks, puckering his lips and leaning closer to you.

he's so desperate, and you are too, it's adorable, park jisung is adorable. "hmm" you pretend to think about it, an inquisitive look making it's way to your face. "nah".

"y/n! that's not fair!" jisung whines, shaking you with his arms that are still around your waist. he frowns, trying to give you his best puppy dog eyes.

you almost give in, but you push him away, taking the camera you'd been searching for. "later, babe".

"you said that this morning!"

you sigh, turning around to stare at the pouting park. the cute pout remains on his face, how can you ever resist him? you lean forward and press a kiss to his lips, ruffling his hair. "there, are you happy you big baby?"

"you could do better".

"uh huh, and you could be patient".

jisung frowns once again, but it's not a serious one, just the cute one he likes to do when he pretends to be mad at you. "don't be mad, you know i love you".

jisung does know, he knows that very well. he smiles at you, he's so in love with you, and not even in an embarrassing way, there's nothing embarrassing about this, he feels joyful, a sense of euphoria overtakes him whenever he’s with you.

"i know, i love you too".

and he isn't lying when he says that.

because he truly does.

[diamondcitydarlin]

I don't think I'm going to say anything here that hasn't been said better a million times by other fans, but I feel as someone who has been a fan and supporter of his for an upwards of 20+ years now (so like, most of my fucking life) I need to. As a victim of SA myself, I need to. As someone who frequently sang his praises, reblogged his snarky commentary, spoke with him a few times, never thought a bad thing about him before now, and otherwise lauded him a 'safe person' (without good reason, I now realize) I need to. Staying silent indefinitely just doesn't feel acceptable.

(Under the read more is stuff that might be triggering, but is largely personal)

I took my time because for a long while after this broke I had to deal with my own feelings of grief. I know for some that sounds weird, but learning that someone you thought was a good person is in fact not a good person and was very likely just always putting that 'good person' mask on for show, finally seeing the truth of them does feel like a death- the death of the person you thought they were, the death of a person you came to like and respect that never existed in the first place. There was a divorce of identities I had to make there in my mind. I think that's the denial phase, right? Except I never wanted to deny the victims' stories, as much as I didn't want to believe any of it was true.

Of course, what else is true is that I never really knew him. Most of us didn't (even some who were actual close friends with him apparently). We accepted the personality he presented to us as a genuine person who laid all his cards on the table, assuming that this meant there couldn't be darker sides to him that he was carefully hiding so as to ensnare more victims. It seemed unthinkable. Until it wasn't. Until it was exposed to those of us who didn't already know about the underground whisper campaign of his predatory behavior and so much of what he did and said in the past years now seem unavoidably creepy. But they didn't back then. How could they? (Here's one- He has a 'bathtime' tag on his blog that he apparently used to get fans to take pictures of themselves reading his books while taking baths. Most of the 'bathtime' fan pictures he reblogged were of young women in close to NSFW/spicy bath positions with his books. This was around 2012 and it's blowing my mind that I didn't see the creepiness of that then)

This is about the time in my thoughts that I've started pivoting towards my own personal responsibility in the situation, as I have before when I've found myself in an unfair or victim position. Not to overly blame or be critical of myself for not knowing things I genuinely had no idea about until they became public, not to blame myself for being lied to as millions of fans were by a bad person, and definitely not to blame others for what happened, but rather to regain some kind of control in the future over a situation that feels very much out of my control (and ofc it is, on the whole).

While famous people being 'cancelled'/revealed as monsters using their platform to reel in victims is nothing new, I still allowed myself to be charmed and carried away by the persona Gaiman put forth publicly, allowed myself to think that THIS time it'd be different, not all famous men, etc, to the point that despite this being a clear pattern of behavior for a number of people in positions of power/wealth, I still allowed myself to believe and wholeheartedly accept that it could never be him.

Well, as far as I'm concerned, that's done with. While I will still have famous creators/actors/artists etc that I will go on 'liking', I have to remember from here on out that I don't REALLY know them, no matter how genuine or down to earth or open they seem, I do not know them or what they might be capable of (or have already done) and I cannot let myself fall into a feeling of personal trust with someone I don't fucking know just because I like their work and because they might SEEM like a decent person. It was never my conscious intention to put Neil or anyone else on a pedestal or think of them as gods or something, but even in assuming that everything he did and said publicly was genuine, I ended up putting him there anyway and it blinded me to who he really was, the signs of which were there from the fucking start, now looking back. I can't again let my unwillingness to face red flags keep me from fucking seeing them.

And, unfortunately, from now on I am going to be hyper-suspicious of famous people that ingratiate themselves into fandom spaces as though they're part of the group. As fun as it was to believe a creator could coexist alongside us without nefarious intentions, that was clearly just a fantasy. I'm not saying it would always be that way, or that anyone who interacts with their fans is a positive way is trying to prey on them, but the level to which Neil interacted with his fans and the fandoms therein should be regarded with a bit more suspicion in the future, I feel. We have to ask ourselves why a creator would be SO immersed, what are they hoping to gain, particularly if most of their fans are young and impressionable? Sure, their intentions could be pure, but there are a lot of predatory reasons for a much-loved creator with huge swaths of fans to try to ingratiate himself in their spaces and that's worth considering in future when someone is trying to be Mr. Popularity- I'm not naive enough, especially not now, to think that it won't happen again with someone else.

Anyway, this is all, the last thing I'm going to (try) to say about him and my feelings on this issue, because as a fan that wasn't directly preyed on by him but is feeling a sense of grief for personal reasons, my voice isn't nearly as important as those of people who were direct victims of his predation. Those are the ones we should be listening to and amplifying, especially as it seems likely even more women will come forward in their future.

I'm furious and disgusted and so so sad for all the women that were made to suffer from his manipulation. I'm sorry no one was willing to listen to them until now.

[lillypad-monopoly]

Wild Life Episode 3 Thoughts

Sorry I don't have very good commentary this week. I was really busy and then life happened so I watched these POVs over the course of 6 days and didn't always take live notes.

The snail gimmick is iconic! Another amazing wildcard and a good Grian reference as well as being memey!

Someone joked about them being soulbound to the snails and I'm praying for the return of a soulbond Wildcard so hard right now

I'm genuinely concerned Skizz and Jimmy won't make it to episode 5. I hope we get some more passive wildcards coming up or this is going to be a pretty short series (also I would like them to get some stuff done)

Grian freezing the game is the lore event ever. Watcher powers are real but also he's clearly fighting back against their agenda more this season (once again such angst potential here RE: Grian knowing the wildcards ahead of time)

Ren digging all those holes looking for their horse is literally the definition of insanity and it's hilarious

Martyn and Etho interacting is always interesting both because the anime skin boys are hanging out together and because they have literally opposite playstyles. Martyn is crazy reckless and Etho is soo careful.

WHY DO REN AND MARTYN HAVE A DOUBLE BED

I really want to know all the snail names, since not everybody died this ep

I love that we're kind of going back to "suggestions" again, what with Tango killing Skizz and Martyn making snails invisible just for kicks. It feels like 3L and it's so fun.

I was so excited for Bdubs angst hour only for him to change his mind and not feel bad about anything after all

Etho's monologue 😂. The reason the go for you early is because they see you as a threat, not because they think you're not tough OMG.

Etho don't die to a creeper in the life series challenge impossible

Watching PICS build a base was actually so refreshing. I love the snail gimmick very much but it was nice to watch a POV where they were actually doing some classic life series stuff

Scott predicting violence for the next ep is...concerning lol. I don't know what he's seeing that I'm not, but outside of wild card stuff it doesn't really feel like we're at that point just yet

Actually I wouldn't put it past Tango to go wild. I'm just not sure the other Tuff Guys will follow him

I will be quoting "He's coming and he has only violence in his heart" from now on thank you Scott

Joel saying they have no enemies is so funny. The reason you don't have any enemies is cause everyone is too scared to cross you 😂.

Gem being excited about her snail while everyone else panics is iconic I love her

Joel giving Skizz a PVP lesson is so funny because Skizz *can* PVP from what I recall (I haven't seen a lot of Skizz so I could be wrong here)

Jimmy blowing up the car in front of Joel, Gem and Etho is the definition of "history doesn't repeat itself, it rhymes"

Lizzie I love you but you need to turn down something on your texture pack because everything is so bright

Bdubs manufacturing Tuff Guy behavior killed me. All of the Tuff Guys are such wet cats I love them <3

I've never watched Empires, but the bit where Jimmy gets blown up by a creeper has such powerful older sister/younger brother energy that I think I might have to headcanon them as siblings now

Scar and Lizzie being in the caves for the introduction of the snails and trying to figure out what's going on feels like a horror movie premise. People mysteriously dying to snail related stuff, and then a mob that's not in the game shows up and looks similar to the other person you're with and is following you around...

Team Bam/The Bamboozlers are as chaotic and struggling as hard as I expected. I don't actually want Lizzie to loose her teammates because I want everybody in until the last session, but it would be really funny if she did.

[outivv]

Can we get some separate headcanons of Xiao and wanderer with a Timid but kind reader?

Reader is extremely quite at first but show lots of act of service (like when they were injured, reader is the first one to try to help n stuff), and because of how timid and weak the reader look people always take advantage of themm(￣∇￣+)

It's alright if ya don't want to,have a nice dayy!^^

Synopsis: timid/ quiet reader who’s love language is acts of service!!

Warnings: not proofread

Characters: xiao, wanderer, and dehya

Pronouns for reader: gender neutral/ not mentioned

A/n: hello hello!! Thank you for requesting!! I hope you don’t mind me adding dehya, I just reallllly wanted to write for her :’). Anyways!! Hope you enjoy, and have a great rest of your day!!

— Xiao —

I think your more timid, and quiet personality mixes with xiao’s really well. I don’t know why but it’s givingggg power couple.

Anyways, I feel like xiao is pretty oblivious to your acts of service, he appreciates them but he doesn’t know why you’re doing them you know? Like when you help him with his wounds, or make him food, or do literally anything for him, he doesn’t understand… why.

You hum happily as you tend to xiaos clothes, mending them, and sewing back the tears in his clothes. Xiao watches from afar, seeing you so happy just… doing something for him. He doesn’t get it. Why are you being so nice to him? You even lent him some spare clothes you had, the thought of wearing clothes that are originally yours makes his cheeks flush. “Here you go!! All better now.” You say handing him his clothes and returning his thoughts to normal. Your sweet smile, and the way his clothes are gently folded- it’s all too much.

“Why do you do things for me?” He asks rather bluntly. Your smile drops, “what do you mean?” He glares, not out of malice, but out of frustration. He feels his question is rather silly to be honest, “I mean you help me when I’m wounded, you fix my clothes, you tidy my room at wangshu inn, and I don’t have to ask for any of it. Why do you do it?” Your blank face turns to one of pure adoration, and almost… pity, “because I care about you. Taking care of things, and people- it’s how I show love.” Your response isn’t what he expected, he honestly expected you were doing it an an exchange for your guaranteed protection. But in reality it was just as simple as… you loved him. He took his nicely folded clothes and disappeared, his heart racing, and face flushed. He hoped you didn’t notice before he left. 

I think after that encounter he gets much more flustered, and aware of your acts of service. He definitely appreciates it, and voices that appreciation in various ways. By checking in on you, idly hanging around you more, developing a crush on you you know. Simple things like that :)

He really hates that people take advantage of you, but he’s also very concerned that he’s doing the same… unintentionally JEGJEG. He’s like “that jerk just took advantage of [name] and I know it. Oh my god am I being a hypocrite right now? Am I doing the same as that jerk? Oh…” he’s very self conscious and worried that he’s taking advantage of you without realizing it. He’s not. You know he’s not.

— Wanderer —

Respectfully. He probably has told you to have a spine because of how often people take advantage of you. He’s harsh with his words, but they hold a strange sense of genuine concern, and care in them. He sees how these people hurt you, and he doesn’t want that of course, but he’ll express it in a way that comes off as much harsher than intended.

“I just don’t understand.” You say wiping your tears and sniffling. Wanderer sighs, and moves your hand from your face to wipe your tears himself, “I do. It’s because you don’t know how to tell others to do it themselves.” His usual glare is focused, worry pooling in his eyes, though he hides it very well. His heart may break a thousand times from seeing you cry, but you’ll never know that.

You look up at him, your tear filled eyes, and red face drenched in sorrow, and confusion as to why people are continuously walking all over you, how they have the audacity to do so. “I just… I wanna help people, I want to show them that I care.” You sob harder, your words broken up by hiccups. Wander thinks back to all the times you help him and his gaze softens, “people who have the sheer nerve to take advantage of you, don’t deserve your kindness. You need to actually have a backbone, and ignore them.” His words sting a bit, but you know he’s right. You wrap your arms about him to hug him, a sign of thanks for his advice.

He appreciates your help, and everything you do for him, but he’s the type to be like “no it’s fine I can do it myself” and be all stubborn even if… he can’t do it himself KEVEKEG. It’s rather annoying to be honest, you wanna showcase your feelings for him, and you can only do that in a simple way, and he won’t let you because of his own pride!!

He does let you do some things for him though. Mostly just things he doesn’t necessarily know how to do, like I feel like he isn’t superb at writing. Not that he’s bad at it per say, but he just isn’t great at it. So when you write him things, or write for him, he’s very appreciative. :)

— Dehya —

Strong independent woman!! Who will crumble by the fact that you so kindly do things for her, and enjoy doing them, and ahh. Dehya is a big acts of service person, it’s one of her main love languages too, so if you’re trying to tell her you love her (in a platonic/romantic way) then she absolutely loves it.

Dehya returns to your camp to notice food freshly made, clothes folded, and tents and beds made. “[name] did you really do all this while I was gone?” Dehya asks astonished. You turn around from folding another pair of clothes “hm? Oh yes!! I wanted to get some stuff done so we could enjoy ourselves. We’ve been traveling for a while, and while you were gone completing a commission, I just thought I’d be helpful…” a smile grows on dehya’s face at your words, her heart swells with all the love in the world for you.

I feel like dehya would try to do the same for you in a way. I don’t know how to explain but you both do things for each other, and it’s just a never ending cycle of basically saying “I LOVE YOU” “I LOVE YOU MORE” “NO I LOVE YOU MORE” “NO THATS IMPOSSIBLE I LOVE YOU THE MOST” “NO I-“ you get what I’m saying.

No one dares to take advantage of you, especially by the mere mention of dehya’s name :), so thankfully, you don’t have to worry about that.

[yuri-is-online]

For who would go crazy in TWST trying to save u over and over i have thoughts:

Vil - Mr. Perfect? Not being able to reach his goal, trying to get to the person who understands him best? ESP. thinking about how he's based on the Evil Queen, someone well known for having a Very Poor reaction to not getting her way? He'd absolutely lose it, have a "where are they now" episode about washed up celebs cause EVERYTHING he has is dedicated to saving you

Malleus - He wields some of the most powerful magic in the world, but he can't save you? Absolutely not. He refuses. Also in his case he's probably resetting the world himself, so the repeated deaths he can't save you from are arguably being caused by him to. He has no sense to pet go - you love him, know him so intimately that a world without you is meaningless. Reset.

Azul - There's no bargain he can make, power he can steal, trick he can pull strong enough to fix this mess. He's blindly ambitious, and refuses to hear the word "no". How could he give up his precious pearl, the one person he knows could see through everything he is that's nasty and gross, and love the whole of it? He knows, deep in his mind, that he can't change this fate. But to give up on you? Truly impossible.

notes: referring to this shitpost here, discussion of spoilers for all currently available books including book 7, I'll slap Malleus's part under read more to make those a bit more avoidable

No but annon your mind... so correct about all of this for all stated reasons and more. Seriously how did I not think about Vil? That's genius?

Assuming the original timeline follows the events currently evolving in game, I assume that Yuu ends up dying as part of Grim's overblot. I think it makes sense for the boys to die that first time too, only to wake up alive and in the middle of preparing for NRC's entrance ceremony. After they make sure that this isn't a dream, and that they really are alive and somehow back in time they start making plans.

Vil

I can see og timeline Vil regretting that he didn't pay attention to Yuu before VDC, and trying to figure out how to stay in their life during his fourth year internship because (even if his feelings technically run a bit deeper) genuine friendships are important to him. Remember how happy to see everyone he was in chapter 6? It's all he can do to remind himself you probably don't know who he is anymore when he sees Crowley drag you into the mirror chamber, he just wants to kiss your preciously confused face.

Something Rook immediately picks up on because I'm pretty convinced he would notice if something was that majorly off script about his queen. Vil's raised eyebrow is .3 centimeters off from his normal concerned face :/ he needs an explanation.

Vil's relieved at first, he has Rook's help and you are surprisingly receptive to his advances. For just a brief moment he has you in his arms and you are alive, and then you are torn away again. And again, and again and again and-

Vil's signature spell is a curse, he can recognize the traces of one, and I agree he would be so determined to break it he would slowly start to deteriorate into a actual villain. It's not like time is advancing forward otherwise, it's not like he can advance his acting career while he is stuck in this time loop trying to save you, trying to not let your zero percent of survival stay zero. I could see him spending a loop killing the other overblot mages before they build up enough blot to hurt Yuu only for that not to work and him to get even more unhinged as a result.

Azul

Ok so you remember that bit in the Ghost Bride event where Azul gets borderline creepy over the thought of being rejected? Or that part of New Years where he suffers a bit of sunk cost fallacy over the grab bags and gets back in line to spend more money on more stuff he doesn't need? Or how about his level up lines? Laughing at the thought of being satisfied with "just this much power" or warning that you will just be taken advantage of in this world, and inviting you to seek safety with him when that inevitably happens?

Well you did and he failed you. And no he isn't really someone who lets go of things. He goes out of his way to tell Riddle that he thinks being greedy is a good thing; you could have had a very long and happy life together that hit every milestone you set out to achieve and it still wouldn't be enough for Azul. He will never be satisfied, never have enough of Yuu.

But he's smart, he knows when things just aren't possible. It makes him more determined to prove himself. If he can't outsmart something as trivial as fate, can he really claim to be a brilliant mage?

Unlike Vil, I don't think he would immediately tell the twins what was happening. I do think they would figure it out eventually, and I do think they would help, but I think they would also maybe... eventually... realize that there was no saving you and maybe it's best for everyone involved if that's accepted. I could see Jade and Floyd going to Yuu directly and asking what you want, not because they are opposed to saving you but because they want Azul's suffering to end.

I don't know if you have ever played Amnesia Memories, but I could see Azul following a similar path to the Joker World/Ukyo (they are not similar characters but meh) in a situation like this. Won't spoil that here but I highly recommend it if you like otome games.

Malleus

In a twisted way I could almost see him being satisfied with being stuck inside a time loop trying to save you. Not at first obviously, at first Malleus refuses to believe he could fail in saving you. He is the fifth most powerful mage in the universe. He is a King, he can not think of anyone, anything that is stupid enough to tell him no.

Maybe he speed runs his own overblot and tries trapping you in a dream, only for that to kill you. Reset.

How about killing the other overblot mages? He'd arrive at that one a lot faster than Vil. Also doesn't work. Reset.

I don't think Malleus would bring Lilia, Silver, or Sebek into the loop of what was going on. Lilia- he's smart, old, and understands just how powerful Malleus really is, but I'm not sure he would be able to realize time itself is being reset. I think he would pick up on what Malleus's plan is in each individual universe and goes out of his way to prevent him from doing something stupid. You know who I could see picking up on it though? Leona and Idia, forcing them to work together to get Malleus to stop further driving a wedge between Malleus and the rest of the student body.

And then there is you, troublesome you. We don't really know what causes Grim to overblot, I could almost see a situation where Yuu does everything they can to save their friends, aware that time is being reset and thinking that finally, this time they can keep everyone from dying. They are completely content to die if it means no one else gets hurt, completely unaware that self sacrifice is what is causing all of this. What is one life compared to everyone in all of Twisted Wonderland after all?

Everything, it is worth everything, this world really is meaningless without you in it. Reset.

[doberbutts]

genuine question coming from a place of good faith: is it wrong of me to be scared for transmascs right now? the harassment of transfems by both radfems and now even tumblr staff is fucking horrendous, but im terrified that due to so much recent discourse, people are going to blame transmascs for it and hate us even more than they already do.

i genuinely do care about transfems and it’s utterly ghoulish what’s going on right now, and it needs to stop, but I can’t help but get this awful sinking feeling over how it could affect transmascs by proxy — but I’m not sure if that’s wrong of me? is it wrong to worry about, should I be focusing entirely on transfems right now? is it transmisogynistic of me to be concerned about both of these things instead of just the one? I don’t know if what I’m feeling is wrong and it’s stressing me out so badly :(

I don't think it's ever wrong to be concerned about multiple real problems at once.

I have stayed pretty quiet on this situation, mostly just adding stuff to my queue if I agree with it but not weighing in personally. Mainly the reason is that I genuinely don't know anything about the trans woman in question who all of this fuss is for. But, I have seen other trans blogs get nuked for seemingly flimsy reasons, and I have seen self-professed terfs and radfems crowing victory with the latest victims of their mass-reporting.

And I think this is a bit of a PR nightmare, but I also think this site does have a serious harassment problem the staff does not take nearly seriously enough while it also seems to punish in equal amounts blogs that get harassed AND blogs that were literally just minding their own business, with really the main similarities being that they are blogs owned by people belonging to seriously marginalized and at-risk demographics talking about controversial topics like racism and LGBT politics.

It is really quite frustrating that there are now accusations that trans mascs talking about their own oppression are behind this, when not only is there no proof behind the claim but also even without a lot of direct knowledge I am seeing a certain demographic cheering that their mass reports worked and I gotta say, that demographic largely isn't trans mascs.

I also think there is a lot of hypocrisy floating around, because some of these blogs I'm seeing mad about this latest streak of bans are also people who themselves have advocated for harassing others and mass-reporting others who simply fail the vibe check while just existing as themselves, off this website. And while those users don't have the power of the literal CEO, they're failing to see how they've contributed to the problem of this website's user culture of "send the most vile thing you can think of en mass until they break and leave and good riddance".

I say this as someone who also has been harassed by a band of people wanting to chase me off of this website. It is why I don't interact much with dogblr anymore. I have had several people who joined in that dog pile later approach me and apologize, but the damage is still done and I am not interested in engaging with a "community" so willing to tear someone apart on flimsy accusations that weren't even true. I almost killed myself that night, I had a mental break and turned off my blog completely for several days just to make it stop, and returned to see people similarly crowing with delight that they'd successfully run me off. It's happened to me, and the perpetrators were almost entirely white cisgender women, and I have been very reliably told by multiple other people that both my blackness and my transgender status were significant motivators in their poor behavior.

This also happening in the wake of yet another transgender teen killed by their peers has left me simply mentally and physically exhausted. I began involving myself more in the transgender community on here because I wanted this to stop. I wanted to help uplift my siblings and get them out of the pit before the whole thing caved in. It's feeling very hopeless right now for trans kids around the world and in the mean time it's also apparently my fault a trans woman I don't even know got banned I guess..

In any case. Hold your head up. We'll get through this, somehow. We always have. We always will.

[evillex11]

might get flamed 4 this but comments like “gege is just killing everybody now, gege needs to stop cooking, gege doesn't know what he's doing, etc.) r getting annoying ngl like they're posting that on every chapter no matter what happens 😭 and it's fine to criticize something obviously that can't be avoided but these empty comments that provide no actual/meaningful input into the criticism is just so redundant 💀

+1. these kinds of comments kinda encourage the disrespect gege receives... cuz they leave these kinds of comments everywhere to the point where it's pretty icky. and not much ppl bat an eye cuz some might think it's all lighthearted or normal when rlly, it's getting a bit too far. like there's ppl who r genuinely saying he deserves to get sick n stuff?? bc he kiiled ur favorite character?? bc u don't like the manga??? 😭wtaf

+2. y'all have something to say when a character “has plot armor” and y'all still yap when a character doesn't... so rlly there's no winning 💀and I, personally, don't think jjk is meant to be one of those “defeat evil with the power of friendship” shows,,, mind you, they are going up against a supernatural being who's named the king of curses and is known to be impossible to beat—of course that 17 year old ain't gonna beat his ass just cuz everyone's counting on them??? nor will that adult who's never encountered a being that strong before. it feels kinda corny saying this but the outcomes of the battles in jjk are a bit more realistic ... “gege's just killing everybody now” obviously they're going to die???? they're going against a power beyond them what do you expect 😭 i get that it's a fictional show but the characters are still humans ... even with their cursed techniques and weapons, they're not always gonna survive ... not every plan or tactic of theirs r gonna work or turn out the way they expected

+ they're at a war with something rlly powerful so ofc they're gonna fire every shot they have which, in this case, are their comrades

+ it has been addressed by the show/series itself that jujutsu tech lacks the manpower to protect everybody, this is literally part of geto's reasoning for his actions—he knows he and/or his fellow sorcerers r bound to end up with a pile of their colleagues' bodies bc there arent much sorcerers in the world esp ones that could survive for a v long time. if a character is aware of this, that means gege is as well bc he literally wrote him to think about that

+3. if u hate the writing so much JUST DROP IT 🤯 crazy idea, never been thought of before, I know !! but some comments rlly are not necessary.... just stop reading if u can't take it anymore... no one is forcing you to read it. and if u feel compelled to cuz u already read so much, then don't leave harmful comments towards gege?? it's so easy to stfu and be a decent person on the internet 😭 you're contributing nothing by leaving comments like that under someone's work. if u hate how it's going so much then go make an au and satisfy urself. it's just so unnecessary

+4. idek if gege gets paid enough to deal with reader's bs ... people need to remember these mangakas are also people with real lives who are just trying to live and get by. some authors rlly get dehumanized just bc of the art they make

idc if I get called a dickrider,, as an artist myself I'm just so annoyed I'm sawry 😓😓 drawing and writing takes a lot of work.. I get concerned abt gege's well-being when the quality drops a little in the manga. maybe they're seeing something that I'm not, that's why they leave comments like that. maybe I got something wrong too, I'd like to be enlightened if that's the case /gen

[keikakudom]

What if your Alastor genuinely started to feel love for Vox? Like what would he do? If he realized he was in love with Vox? Would he attempt to Atticwife Vox? Or chain him?

***WARNING: this answer does go into heavy/dark themes.

Woooh, okay so I had to search what "Atticwife" meant, but this question literally sat with me for two days when it was first sent in. I even consulted my bestie(not into fandom) about it.

From my understanding, I think it means "when the partner/significant other forcibly keeps the other against locked away their will bc they're mentally not well/insane(?)".

Initially, here are a few reasons why I think that wouldn't happen/I don't see it working for RR!AU:

I think of Alastor liking the free little things that Vox does as entertainment. He likes to see what Vox does with Hell as playground. Free-roaming gerbil style.

Maybe he would try to cage him once for the heck of it, but I genuinely think(despite all the fanon interpretations and how canon Vox is all leading into that he's insecure and pathetic) that Vox and Alastor are equally matched and Alastor would not have a feasible way of keeping him there for one. I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL. I swear in canon that they are setting up Vox to be underestimated. Like, yes radio waves/radio has power over TV signals--but literally face it, nobody WANTS radio. Only TV does. Even if TV disappears, the masses are not going to go back to radio. Radio has its purpose but in the modern age and from what it looks like in HH too(since TV/Vox is so popular) radio as a ruling media is already over, it's relegated to a supporting role now because TV is just so convenient and straight up better with so many more uses.

And I dont think Vox's way of thinking is "wrong" or that he's far gone, since he's never been actively suicidal. I only made him mention that line in the fic because Alastor was so blindsided by HIS way of thinking that Vox needed to voice his side for Alastor to think of Vox's perspective for once(also in the fic I made Alastor SHOW that he cared) aka, in the end they both communicated in the way that the other prefers (show vs tell). RR!AU Vox is characterized as only to have maybe, PASSIVE suicide ideation. Its like, he wont ever think about dying unless his mind is empty--so putting him in an isolated/empty place would make it worse/allow his depressive thoughts to fester because he's not busying his mind.

So if you want to go with a fluffy route, if Alastor really romantically fell in love with Vox, I want to say he'd tone down the blatant stalking and go for a traditional and appealing courting way(probably asked Rosie for advice) that finally respects Vox's current feelings...would Vox reciprocate? Eh, too little too late, maybe.

That said, I'm fascinated by this scenario so I'm going to entertain it as a what-if , LOL. It's going to get very toxic and strange, even more-so from hereon out:

Let's say we take what Vox said in the fic for verbatim(wants to stay on DND forever, chasing after death), and that Alastor planned for this ahead of time.

First, it would be an environmental shock to Vox because he's so used to constantly being around people, and just DOING stuff...there's some symbolism here about how great white sharks have trouble being kept in zoos/being kept in captivity.

A lot of people would look for him. Hell politics would go haywire. I think Vox would busy himself in his thoughts about how to deal with his own absence too, all concerned for the power vacancy and things that are piling up, if he couldn't find an immediate way to escape. It's really hard to think of Vox ever doing "nothing" IMO.

(Even if he sits and watches TV all day, he goes all giggly and dramatic. A big reason why I push this in RR!AU. I find it so interesting to have a character/personality so animated also having deep nihilistic thoughts. He would not curl up and spend days not doing anything, more like 'OK NEXT NOW WHAT'.)

Then let's say Alastor introduces daily stimulation with Vox. In order for him not to do anything drastic. Playing chess with him, asking open-ended questions...Vox starts to crave those singular interactions everyday so badly. Because it's his only fix to do something.

In any case, it would turn into a very unhealthy and co-dependent, Stockholm syndrome-y relationship. Subsequently, 'Atticwife'....

This was a very wild question to answer, but thank you for sending it! It was pretty fun to imagine a possibility where this played out.

[phantomdoofer]

Tower Town, Chapter 29 - A Long Time Coming

Giuseppe opened the door, and Anita grinned at him from the other side. “Hey, Anita. You're a bit early…” he scratched the back of his head and tried to smile… but, as so often happened, it looked more pained than happy.

“Nothing saying I can't just park on the couch while you finish,” she said wryly.

“Yeah,” he chuckled nervously.

She fought not to start examining his every action. What's got him so wound up? Giuseppe had always been a bit twitchy - ran in the family, after all - but… right now he's acting like he's in combat, instead of having dinner with his friend. We do this all the time. What's different?

He turned as he closed the door. “Just a few minutes and I'll have it ready, Anita. Make yourself comfortable.”

Anita leaned back on the couch. “Sepp, you're acting like I don't practically live here these days.” Her smirk turned into a genuine smile. “Relax, man. I don't bite… unless you want me to.”

The big Italian blushed furiously, and laughed. “Infatti,” he muttered. The man puttered into the kitchen… but everything's on the table, she thought, confused and a little concerned. He's being absent-minded. Something's really got him worried.

He opened his refrigerator and pulled out what turned out to be a bottle of wine. Not the stuff they typically had for dinner; she knew he kept some stronger stuff around. For his nerves. She reflected on the absolute hell his brother, Peppino, had gone through because of alcohol, and felt her own worries rise for Giuseppe.

They expanded when she saw him turn, think she wasn't watching, and kick back a long drink. He's normally so careful.

He put the bottle of wine back, wiped his mouth, grabbed a different one, and closed the door. “Ok, I think I've got everything ready. Shall we?”

Anita stood and sauntered over to the table, trying not to let her concern show. Are things really that bad for him?

After a brief period of eating, he took up his wineglass and downed half of it at once.

Okay, I have to say something. “Sepp, you might want to go easy on that.”

He put the glass down, looking hunted. “Why? You know I can handle a little wine.”

“A little, yes. But I saw you knock back half a bottle of the strong stuff, before you grabbed this one.”

He winced, looking sheepish. “You, ah, you saw that, huh?”

She pointed at her eye, which shifted from its normal appearance to the crosshairs it took on when she was using her powers. “With this thing? Of course I did.” She leaned across the table, grabbing his hand. “Listen, Sepp, something's bothering you. I can tell. Don't go trying to do it all yourself again. You know that didn't turn out all that well.”

He looked away. “I know.”

“So tell me,” she said, kindly but a little hotly. “You know I'll help if I can.”

He shook his head. “It's something… something I need to do myself, ‘Nita.”

She leaned back, exasperated. “Sepp, don't! Don't go trying to shoulder everything on your own! We can solve… whatever your problem is. Together. We're here for you. You know that.”

“Yeah. I know that,” he whispered. “It's just…” he shook himself, like he was trying to shake off his problems.

Then he put his hands on the table. “Fanculo. Dillo e basta, stupido bastardo,” he muttered. He looked up at her, a gleam of determination in his eyes. “Anita, let's get married.”

Anita leaned back, taken completely off-guard. “What the - Sepp? Married? I -” She spluttered for a few seconds before find her verbal feet again. “What brought that on?”

Giuseppe smirked. “I’ve been thinking.”

“Always a dangerous occupation,” Anita quipped ascerbically.

“I'm serious, Nita,” he replied. “I've really been mulling it over, and - I'm not interested in being with anyone else.” He reached over and put his hand on top of hers. “I know we've been… together… for only a little while, but - this has made me realize something. I don't just like you, I love you.” He looked into her eyes. “I want to be with you, from now on. Not just as friends, or lovers. As a unit. As two parts of a whole.”

She froze. He knew, as confident as she was in most things, that she was unsure of herself when it came to relationships. “It's… it's a big step, Sepp. A huge step.”

“I know,” he said, smiling. “But I don't think I could take it with anyone else. We've always had each other's backs, even when we were estranged.” He nodded emphatically. “So, why not make it official?”

She looked shaken, but also thoughtful. For several moments, she was silent. Is this what I want? Finally, she muttered, “You know, you're right. I try to think of anyone else, and… I'm just not interested.” She stood, pacing a bit. Finally she shook her head violently. “All right. Let's do it.”

Giuseppe felt a lump in his throat. He realized he'd been holding his breath, and he let it out in a heavy gust. “All right.”

Anita laughed. “Poor Sepp. You always did bottle up your anxiety. You could take a lesson from your brother, there.”

Giuseppe chuckled ruefully. “Non sono così sicuro. My brother letting his anxiety run wild destroyed an entire pocket dimension, after all.”

Anita leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. “Turned out for the best, though.” She paused. “Back on topic, though, I'm keeping my last name.”

Giuseppe laughed. “Can the kids at least have my last name?”

“Kids? You think there'll be kids?” Anita said, a wry smile on her face.

Giuseppe stood, kissing her hand and smiling. “Considering matters… yeah, yeah I think there probably will be.”

Anita grinned. “I like how you think, Sepp.” She stood, and he followed suit. They embraced, feeling each others’ pulse. “No wonder you were so keyed up, Sepp,” she said.

“I've wanted to ask you for days,” he whispered. “Took me this long to work up the courage.”

“Courage?” She said, looking up at him.

“Yeah,” he said. “I don't know what I would've done if… you'd said no.”

She snuggled back up against his chest, and he hugged her to him. “I didn't, Sepp. It didn't happen. Don't worry about what-ifs, now. I said yes.”

“You said yes,” he echoed. His face blossomed in a giant smile. “You said yes!” He picked her up, spinning her around, grinning like a fool. “You said yes!”

They laughed together as he whirled them around.

~~~~

Peppino heard a knock on his door, and he stood. “Ehm? I-a wonder who that-a could be?”

Gustavo peered over the back of the couch - they'd been watching TV together. “Were you expecting anyone?”

Peppino shrugged. “No… though people dropping-a by isn't that unusual these days.” He opened the door - Giuseppe stood outside. Peppino raised his eyebrows - he could tell his brother was nervous, but in a good way. “Buonasera, fratello. What brings you here so late?”

Peppino stepped aside and let his brother in. Giuseppe was wringing his hands. What has him in such knots, I wonder? “Come, fratello, sit down. What's bothering you?”

As Peppino sat back on the couch, Giuseppe slumped into the recliner. “I have some news. I'm glad you two are together, I can tell you both at once.” He grinned.

Gustavo waved a hand airily. “Well, don't keep us in suspense, Seppe. What is it?”

Giuseppe's mustache split in a huge grin. “I asked Anita to marry me, and she said yes!”

Both men sat up and smiled. Peppino stood, striding over to his brother and taking his hand. “Felicitazioni, fratello! Felicitazioni!” He pulled Giuseppe to his feet, giving him a hug so hard Giuseppe found himself gasping for air.

“Non così stretto, fratellino!” He managed.

Peppino dropped him and laughed. “Mi dispiace, but I'm so happy for you! After everything you've-a been through, you deserve happiness in your life!”

Gustavo chuckled. “Took you two long enough. Do you have any plans made yet?”

Giuseppe shook his head. “No, we just agreed to this earlier. After Anita left, I couldn't sit still. I had to tell someone. So here I am.” He laughed, flopping back down. He put a hand to his forehead. “I still can't believe it.”

As they sat back down themselves, Gustavo spoke up. “How'd Anita respond?”

“She was surprised, but she agreed. I left it entirely up to her. She'll probably have to take some time to digest.” Giuseppe's face grew serious.

Peppino spoke up again. “Niente di cui preoccuparsi, credo. She wouldn't have-a said ‘yes’ if she wasn't-a serious.”

Gus nodded. “She probably needs some space, though. It's a big deal.”

Giuseppe nodded as well. “Yeah. But she'll probably come back like a whirlwind.”

~~~~

Anita knocked on the door to Pepperman’s studio, then leaned back against the wall. I know he's here. Much to her surprise, though he seemed utterly self-centered, he made an unusually good confidant. She'd found herself talking to him more and more. Must be the therapist training.

The door squeaked slightly as it opened; the giant pepper looked around, then around the corner. He adjusted a pair of glasses. “Oh, Anita. It's you!” He paused. “Why do you always feel the need to hide when you come to see me?”

She shrugged. “Old habits die hard, I guess. Can I come in?”

“Of course,” Pepperman said, moving his bulbous body aside. “Watch your step, though, there's likely paint on the floor.”

Anita looked around - there were a few splotches here and there, but nothing unusual. She looked up at the pepper's lens-enlarged eyes. “Since when do you wear glasses?”

“Since we left the Tower and the medical checkup revealed I had vision problems. I only need them while painting, really. You hadn't noticed?”

Anita sat on a handy stool, looking at the floor. “I've been a bit, um, distracted lately.”

Pepperman grinned - the vast overbite almost lit up the room. “Of course, Anita, of course. The dashing Giuseppe! We've discussed him many times, I know.” He sat down on another stool. “I assume this is about your most recent… meeting with the indefatigable paisano?”

Anita looked up and laughed. “Call it what it is, Phil. It's a relationship.” She sighed. “He proposed to me today.”

Pepperman's smile didn't look like it could get wider, but it did. “And what did you say?”

Anita chuckled. “I said yes. He made a good point - when he asked me who else I could imagine myself being with, I couldn't think of a single person.” She smiled, a rare, genuine smile. “It's been nice, having him back in my life.” She looked down, opening and closing her hands. “Ever since we got… regenerated… I've felt things… I haven't felt in a long time. I feel… hopeful, less resigned.”

Pepperman laughed. “Youthful energy, no doubt.” He leaned forward, placing one forearm on his knee, looking her in the eyes. “Do you think this is a bad idea?”

Anita looked up, surprised. “No! No! Why would you think that?”

“Because whenever you come to speak to me like this, it's almost always because you're unsure of something.”

Anita leaned back, considering the Verduran’s words. Am I really sure about this? She put a hand to her chin, standing and pacing.

Pepperman nodded. “Take your time.” Turning, he flipped back the cover on his latest painting. Anita paused to look; it was an achingly beautiful portrait of a tree. But on closer inspection, she saw it was dying - the few leaves were gnarled and twisted, the bark peeling and covered in vines. Around it were splintered, broken trees, looking more like the aftermath of a tornado than a forest. “What that?”

Pepperman nodded towards a photo, placed on a smaller easel beside his canvas. “One of the gnomes from the nearby village returned to their old home recently. The forest is dying - the trees are mostly dessicated from lack of water. A powerful storm came through, and most of the forest was shattered like this. Many of the gnomes who didn't move here died. On their way back, they saw this single elderly tree survived. Obviously it won't live much longer though, and it so embodied their grief that they took a picture and commissioned a painting.” Pepperman looked at the scene, a bit wistfully. “I don't know if I can do it justice.”

Anita stared at the single tree, near the end of its life and surrounded by the dead. She shivered. “That tree is dying alone.”

Pepperman, without looking away from his work, nodded. “Indeed. For some, that would be fine. But I can't help but feel pity for something that once knew such community… only to have it ripped away.”

Anita leaned back again. “I shouldn't let my worries stop me from doing this, should I?”

Pepperman laughed. “Some people are fine being alone, Anita. But I think you've convinced yourself to be alone… when you don't really want to be.” He turned, smiling. “I've seen the stars glistening in your eyes when you talk about him, Anita. Don't give that up because of habit.”

Anita chuckled. “You know, Pepperman, for a raging narcissist, you make a good sounding board.”

Pepperman snorted. “I'm merely listening and offering opinions, much as my old mentor did. As… she did…” slowly the paintbrush dropped, and Pepperman's face fell with it. “I wish I could recall her name. Her face.”

Anita reached over and patted the pepper's arm. “Maybe someday, someone will come up with a way to restore memories.” She stood and stretched, bouncing on the balls of her feet. “You're absolutely right, though. I need to grab this with both hands. I let my fear take over last time, and see where that got me.”

Pepperman smiled. “That's the spirit!” He turned back to the painting. “You know, in your opinion, would you say this painting is done?”

Anita looked at it for several seconds. “Pepperman, the sight of it makes me want to cry. I think you've done what you set out to do.”

Pepperman chuckled. “One of my teachers told me that my greatest failing is not knowing where to stop.” He stood. “We'll just let this one settle a bit, then I'll call the client.” He turned to her. “Now then. What say we celebrate out on the veranda? I have a bottle of wine I think you'll enjoy!”

Anita grinned. “You're on, apple.”

“I asked you not to call me that,” he said mock-threateningly.

The two laughed as they moved towards the kitchen.

~~~~

Giuseppe sat in the dark, leaned back on the couch. He hadn't been able to sleep. His nerves were shot, his mind racing at speeds even his feet couldn't match. He was fighting the urge to pace. As keyed up as I am, I'd probably kick on the speed without realizing and wear a groove in the carpet. He leaned forward, his hands in front of his face. What if she changes her mind? What if she can't, for some reason?

His heart was racing.

He nearly leapt through the ceiling as someone knocked on the door. He clutched his chest, trying to will his heart to stop racing. Easy, Seppe, easy.

The visitor knocked again, this time more forcefully.

“I'm coming! I'm coming,” he said loudly. He strode to the door, throwing the deadbolt and turning the knob -

Suddenly his visitor was wrapped around him. “Wh-” he managed before he felt them kissing him… and he recognized them. Anita!

As they broke apart, the lights of the breezeway threw the woman's angular face into sharp profile. She was smiling.

“Soo, I take it that's a yes?” Giuseppe said, half amused, half surprised.

Anita wrapped her arms tighter around him. “Definitely.”

They stood, embraced, for an unmeasured time.

“Soo, are you going to invite your fiancee in, or are we living in the doorway from now on?” Anita grinned as she looked up at him.

He chuckled. “Kind of lost myself in the moment, that's all.”

They laughed together as the door shut.

~~~~

Giuseppe and Anita sat together at a table, a few slices of pizza cooling between them in the box. Both were trying to look calm, but Peppino could tell they were nervous. The two had requested for him to let them use the pizzeria as a meeting place after hours, and Peppino had agreed. He didn't mind at all, but… what are they being so mysterious about?

Gustavo strolled up beside Peppino, drying his hands on a towel. “Everything's cleaned up in the back, amico. Any idea what this meet-up’s about?”

Peppino shrugged; he'd locked the door nearly an hour before. “Non ne ho idea. Did they ask you to stay, too?”

Gustavo nodded. “Sì. They also said there would be other people coming by, but… who, I wonder?”

A knock at the door startled Peppino out of his reverie - Vigi and Noisette were standing outside. They looked as mystified as Peppino and Gustavo. Peppino quickly walked over and unlocked the door. Noisette bounced in, jumping up to give Peppino a little peck on the cheek. Since she'd been regenerated, she was almost too friendly. “Hi, Pep! Hi, Gus!” She gave him a little peck on the cheek too, which made the gnome blush a bit. Then she bounced over to the table, chatting animatedly to the couple.

Vigi oozed in, grinning. “Hope ya don't mind if I don't kiss ya, Peppino.”

He laughed heartily. “Non è un problema, amico mio.”

The cheeseslime held out a gloved hand to Gus, and they shook. “Wasn't sure what t’ make o’ this invite. Y'all got any idea?”

“No more than you, amico,” Peppino said.

“That's everybody, Pino, go ahead and lock the door,” Giuseppe called.

As he did so, Anita waved at them. “Come on, you two. We don't want to keep you all night.”

As the two settled down, Peppino spoke. “So, what-a skullduggery do you two cattivi have planned for us tonight, eh?” He grinned rakishly as he said it.

Everyone at the table burst out laughing, Noisette almost falling out of her chair. “No skullduggery, as you call it, this time, fratellino,” Giuseppe chuckled. “We do, however, have something to ask.”

“An’ what's that?” Vigi said, his serious tone softened by the smirk he was wearing.

Anita folded her hands. “Well, you know we've been planning our wedding.”

“Oh yeah!” Noisette piped up. “I love that outfit you picked out, Anita! It's so you!”

Anita blushed a little, then cleared her throat. “We're not planning anything elaborate, but…”

“We haven't finalized one thing,” Giuseppe said. “We need witnesses.”

Peppino nodded. “You want us to be your witnesses?”

Giuseppe squirmed in his seat. “Well, we were really, uh, hoping…”

“You'd be in the wedding,” Anita finished. “All four of you.”

“You mean, like, groomsmen and bridesmaids?” Noisette put her hands to the sides of her head, her eyes literally twinkling. “I would love to!”

Giuseppe looked over. “Peppino, I'd like you to be my best man.”

Peppino flushed furiously; he wasn't sure how to feel. “Mio caro fratello, ne sarei felice.”

"Vigi, we want you to officiate."

Vigi took off his hat and smiled. “Still remember greetin’ you that day you almost choked out ol’ Noise. Never thought we'd end up buddies.” He shook Giuseppe's hand. “O’ course I will.”

Gustavo looked uncomfortable. “But, uh, why am I, er…”

Anita laughed. “I know, the tradition is that women attend the bride. But you're the closest thing I have to family left in this world, Gus. I don't have any female family, or even friends, left.” She reached out and grabbed his hand in hers. “And I can't think of anyone else I'd trust so much to have my back than you.”

Gustavo felt a lump in his throat - he couldn't speak. Tears welled up in his eyes. “All-all right then. I'd be honored.”

Giuseppe clapped his hands together. “All right then! That's settled… now for the 18,992 other things we have to work out for this.”

[twst-hottest-takes]

This is not really a hot take, sorry. However I find it weird in the playful land event that everyone just trusts Ernesto/Fellow.

And I mean for some characters I get it. But I mean you're telling me people like Jack would be like "Ok guys let's go!", THATS NOT IN CHARACTER AT ALL! In my opinion, he would not want to miss school. Are we forgetting how much of an academic this guy is? Just look at book 3.

And Leona, I get Leona is suspicious, but if I was him I would not go with the others. I mean this man is a scholar, a Kingscholar who does things that benefit himself and people he cares about. I don't understand how that man wasn't dragging them all back to school.

And then there's Vil. Bro can "detect what people are really feeling" because he acts or whatever. And in all the other things Vil's been in, he's been able to detect others' true feelings. So why now, can he just not? Leave him at home twst, he cannot be in this event because now his character is even more f*cked up than before.

Finally I would like to talk about Lilia. I may be a little biased, because I hate his outfit in the event so much. BUT THIS MAN HAS LIKE 3 KIDS AT HOME, and I genuinely believe Diasomnia would fall apart without him (see book 7). I mean it could be considered in character because he likes to have fun, but your telling me Lilia isn't the least bit concerned after Jamil literally told Kalim not to go?? I know Jamil isn't the end all be all, but he's still an amazing judge of character.

Quick reason why I don't blame others:

It's very in character for Ace.

Cater has a magicam account, and who wouldn't want pictures of Playful land?

I feel like Trey was kind of peer pressured, since most of his peers were going.

Kalim doesn't know any better.

The Leech twins do crazy stuff all the time.

Ortho is a machine, and machines are wrong sometimes.

Don't you just love it when characters are stupid for the sake of the plot?

It is frustrating. I'm glad I'm not the only one who hasn't read translations of this event from last year, so I don't know exactly what's going on yet. I'm willing to give this the benefit of the doubt for just a little while longer though. I think that sneaky fox could be using some sort of magical power of suggestion to influence some of the more logically prone characters, but they haven't confirmed that yet. Until we know for sure I'll keep an open mind.

HOWEVER!

If it turns out there's not magic involved in manipulating the guys who are otherwise acting supremely out of character, I'm going to be upset. (Almost as upset as when they gave Jack and Trey R cards for this event.)

There's still time. . .still a little bit of time.

Thank you for your take.

(I guess even if it turns out that some of the guys are just acting out of character for convenience sake, we can still call this event some sort of bizarre fever dream. Cuz it kind of feels like that tbh.)

[mintytealfox]

hello Minty, what's good? I have been wondering, have you ever thought of some silly hc for the different skins Norton has? considering that some of them have their own lore and differences from the original one and knowing that some changes most of his look (waiting for Magic item keeper stuff...)

Heellllooooo Anon~ Its another good day of thinking about Norton/Nortalice and listening to Enya while still doing breathing treatments heh~ 🤣👌👌👌👌💪

YOU BET I HAVE LOL I have too much time to think recently lol

I have been wondering for Orphan, is no one concerned that Norton's eyes are glowing/on fire?? while everyone else seems relatively normal he is just on fire LOL like:

Orpheus: "you've got something going on with your eye region" Norton: "what do you mean" 🔥👄🔥 Orpheus: ".........you know what? never mind"

---

Then for Ronald of Nice, I wonder if he gets a military pension 🤔especially if he was sent home early from being wounded (assuming the burns are from the war)

but on the more silly side, I wouldn't be surprised if he has piles of fan letters that he doesn't open lol just has them all piled on display to flaunt cause he doesn't care what people have to say pfff Enjoying the sheer amount of em Like Uncle Scrooge Mcduck and his money bath -WHEEZE-

---

Speaking of Scrooge Mcduck, that reminds me of Mr. Mole and how I think he genuinely views the moles, in his life, as his family.

Norton: "I want you to meet my family" Alice: "Oh wow, really?" -Norton picks up and holds out a group of moles in his hands- Alice: "Oh....wow...it is so good to meet you all" -internally sobbing😭- Norton: "oh they want to show you the family home, follow" -trying to squeeze through the tiny door at the base of a tree- -Alice watching in concern- "I......am not sure there will be enough room.." -Norton giving it his all to try and fit through- "don't be silly"

---

Okay I will put you out of your misery and talk about Magic Item Keeper 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Bro gives me those dragon in the dungeon vibes lol He doesn't care what side you're on, good or bad, if you're a professor or a student, nothing, if you eff with his items he is keeping, especially without permission, he will nuke ya LOL Like a ruthless librarian, you best not return the item you borrowed LATE worst of all DAMAGED (honestly good luck borrowing it in the first place LOL)

"DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG IT TOOK ME TO FIX THIS ITEM BEFORE?!??!?!?!??!?!"

which is funny that I think like that cause this skin has got to be one of his more unassuming ones

-WHEEEZZEEE- but don't underestimate a person who takes item keeping seriously, they can be so scaryyyyyy.

Like, look at him, he looks NICE not a SPECK of dust or grime NOTHING, SHINY, every piece looks enchanted honestly. Makes me think he takes this line of work more than seriously. Then there's that massive time piece, its there for a reason, DON'T BE LATE.

Which also makes me think he knows where everything is of every moment of everyday, boi got active chart updates going on in his brain, eyes reading and observing everything BUT the person in front of him LOL Honestly if you have his undivided attention you've effed up with something and pissed him off LOLL

and honestly he is likely the more powerful of the bunch. You don't put someone in charge of keeping all of these coveted magic items safe if they don't have the ability to keep them safe, ya know? bro likely op as hell but his only concern is caring for these items lol

[nanabansama]

I saw in your other post "Tsukasa looking at Amane in chapter 109" and I was curious, do you happen to have any theory about why Tsukasa was interested in breaking the clock? Or do you have any theory as to why Hanako-kun messed with it so diligently.P. S: I hope you had a good Christmas 🎅

Hi! Firstly, the post you're speaking about was made by the lovely @ tsutsumi-kurose! I highly recommend checking their blog out for more keen analysis on Hanako-kun.

Anyway, to answer your question...let's gather what we know about the Big Clock.

The Big Clock is the school's time itself. Destroying it caused time to stop completely. When Nene encountered Tsukasa via a time rift during the festival, he told her that you could use the clock to travel through time.

This time manipulation stuff appears to be directly correlated to the school. It doesn't seem to affect stuff outside of it, similar to how the Bookstacks only records a person's life during the time they will spend/have spent at Kamome Academy.

That said, we can't know for sure if Amane knew that, so maybe he tried to harness the clock's time powers for something he could never use them for anyway? Not like it matters, since Tsukasa confirmed Amane never managed to manipulate the clock...but I don't know. To have him work so diligently for something that would have never worked? It feels somewhat silly. So I prefer to believe he had a clear, concrete, and most importantly achievable goal in mind.

Basically, what I'm getting at is I don't think Amane was either trying to time travel to get back to the Tanabata festival he spent with Nene-oneesan or to the time Tsukasa sacrificed himself during their 4th birthday. I also have trouble believing he would go through so much trouble on the off chance that his Nene-oneesan happened to attend Kamome Academy at some point, and it also just seems terribly... corny to me? I really hope it isn't the case, it's just kind of sad and embarrassing of him to skip out on his school play in favor of chasing after some girl he met 4 years ago. I'm clearly too jaded for a romance manga why am I even here

But I do have trouble imagining any other reason for Amane to attempt to time travel that is privy to us! It's either Nene or something we don't know yet. Or something concerning Nene that we don't know yet. Either way, Hanako has clearly remembered whatever it was and wants to keep it a secret--which could mean basically anything because he loves keeping things to himself.

(pictured above: the face of a liar)

To answer your other question, I genuinely think that Tsukasa just wanted to destroy the clock because of his innate sense of curiosity. Remember, this is the guy that dissected a fish for no reason other than a desire to learn how it talked. He is a man of science, and sometimes science is blowing things up and looking at their insides. (I think he would enjoy Mythbusters in a modern AU.)

Tsukasa only went through with destroying the clock now because it was the only way to enter the Clock Keepers' boundary. This is the long and short of it and I will remain firm in this opinion until AidaIro confirm otherwise. *clacks gavel*

Anyway, thank you for the ask! I hope you had a nice Christmas too. :]

[puck-luck]

I’m not hating on YOU. Just on how slow and rude the characters are being made out to be. Honey should stop being so rude to Trevor, give him some credit for putting up with her attitude. Bea is genuinely for the streets. Again not hating on YOU because I like your writing style plus reading your other works i really like. I get I don’t have to read it if I don’t like it but I’ve waited and gave it time for stuff to start picking up.

I appreciate that you're not hating on me because you enjoy my writing style. That's always nice to hear. I'm glad you've read my stuff and even tried to stick it out for STG.

I want to reply to your concerns, so I typed up a couple of bullet points in my notes app. In a very in-character moment for me, it became lengthy. I'm hiding it under this Read More so that no one has to see it if they don't want to. Tbh, that includes you— and I don't mean that in a mean way, even if it might come off like that. It's hard to convey feeling through words on a page, which brings me to my first point:

1. A lot of Honey's attitude is written as means for banter, since Trevor knows that she doesn't mean it in such a negative way— he's aware that she's deflecting. Maybe I need to make that clearer and now I know, which means I can try and work on that! Thank you for bringing it to my attention.

2. Honey has trauma, which I've started to explain in the story. It's going to be fleshed out more and she WILL work through it, but the girl has some pretty complex PTSD when it comes to relationships. That's the reason why she's so hot and cold with Trevor. She knows what she's feeling, but she's not ready to accept it yet.

3. In Chapter 5, the most recent chapter, Honey admits to Trevor that she's the difficult one. She's well aware that she's having trouble with this new relationship and that manifests in her attitude towards Trevor. He says he doesn't mind (basically) and she just hums BECAUSE it bothers her that she's being hard to deal with, and yet she can't stop herself. Again— it's her complex PTSD.

HERE is a screenshot of my Google doc so you can read the scene itself:

4. Fair. Bea is for the streets. Yet, at the same time, I don't see the real issue behind this: everyone involved is a consenting adult that is fully aware of the situation. Everyone knows that Bea is hooking up with the guys in the house. If the guys didn't want to hook up with her, they wouldn't— like how Luke turns her down in this most recent chapter. She's also a girl in her 20s... I know a lot of girls in college that made goals to sleep with entire exec boards of frats or collect each frat president or, in an extreme case, a girl that wanted to hook up with every brother in our pledge class, the pledge class above us, and the pledge class below us. If the girl wants to be a slut, then she can be a slut. & that's how I'm writing her. More power to her. Things might even change for Bea over time, like how real relationships go...

5. As for the slowness: I know that my chapters have gotten super long. I keep getting carried away and writing more than I mean to. It's because I like this project and the characters I've created. BUT, each section is a day. Each chapter is a week. Honey and Trevor have known each other for just over a month and I PERSONALLY am not the kind to hook up with a guy I've just met. Yes, at times it seems long and I know that it drags at times because I can feel it dragging while I write— but I am trying to make this as realistic and detailed as possible. Between the whipped cream scene and the blowjob scene, 10 days passed. That's SUCH a short amount of time, especially since the pair didn't see each other as much that week. Honey works, Trevor trains, and a lot of that is off screen because I think it's boring to write when this is a ROMANCE.

6. If I had an editor, they could probably help me cut this shit down and make it drag less. I DON'T have an editor though and this is a very detailed rough draft of a story that would probably change a LOT before publishing IF I WERE TO GET IT PUBLISHED.

7. I apologize that you have waited and hoped for quicker advancement in Honey and Trevor's story. To me, it's not a fast story. It's going to pick up... on my outline I have Trevor and Honey hooking up 3 times next week. You're welcome to hang in there for that if you want to. It's up to you.

And finally... I apologize that my explanation was so long. And probably slow. I just want to be thorough with your concerns. If you choose not to read anymore of STG, then good for you. I'll still be churning out oneshots when I can and I hope you like those more.

I really do appreciate the feedback. I hope this response didn't seem rude because I'm not trying to be. It's also 2:30am for me so I really should go to bed before I ACTUALLY get my feelings hurt or start lashing out... which I've been known to do when tired. So. Goodnight Anon. Thanks for not hating on ME and I hope my explanations were good enough for you.

[little-meowyao]

SALT SALT SALT (long post)

EXHAUSTED SIGH, what is this doing in my dash again.

The first betrayal of his trust, in the novel, was not something that concerned NMJ in the slightest!!! JGY killed a Jin commander! And I think he was right to do so! Even putting the abuse aside, what other chance would he have of getting recognised (that he knows of), if the man kept taking credit for his work? We as a fandom put too much blame on JGY for killing that dude. I think it was 100% warranted

Of course JGY would force NMJ to show deference to WRH! That's his job! Firstly, literally everyone but JGY has to crawl around WRH, so, while very personally targeted at NMJ (which I'm sure JGY did on purpose to appease WRH), it's just Something That Happens.

Of course JGY had to kill NMJ's men! What else could he do? He couldn't save them all, and WRH 1. Is capricious AS FUCK, and 2. would not take kindly either to insults to the Wen or to JGY himself (bc he likes JGY). Additionally, that was not a ruse!!! Not at all! While I do believe JGY holds some regret at killing WRH, it was his plan! So that LXC would like him more??? That is just fucking stupid!

Being gaslit??? Where??? If someone was gaslighting NMJ, it was LXC (FYI I don't think he was, not intentionally at least, but I would see where someone that does is coming from), not JGY! They just do not speak the same language! You know the excuses vs explanations?? Yeah! That's what was happening! JGY trying to explain himself and NMJ thinking he was making excuses!

Never does JGY deny doing anything, or try to make NMJ doubt himself, or shift blame, or literally anything that could be considered gaslighting!

"Doubting his judgement" did he? Did NMJ ever doubt his judgement? Even when he had reasons to? Or is he just so goddamn obstinate that when he sets his mind to something he will not change? HM?

NHS pulled away from NMJ because NMJ was being, you know. A fucking ass! He burned NHS's stuff! We have no reason at all to believe they were drifting away before that! It's not because JGY understands him better! Is because NMJ does not understand him at all, doesn't care to, and punishes him for doing what he likes! I'm not going into how NMJ was trying to force NHS to follow a path that would get him killed, violently, but that!!! That!!! Yeah!

He threathened to beat him and JGY together! And we have no reason to believe it was an empty threath! Burning the fans was just a threath before, too! And if you read that scene carefully, you'll see that NHS is genuinely terrified. He locks himself away for days after. I don't blame NMJ for it entirely, but at the end of his life he was getting legitimately abusive towards NHS.

NMJ can't explain JGY is evil because he is not. Because everything that JGY ever does to wrong NMJ is either necessary (the fire palace exchange), not related to him at all (the Jin commander), or completely out of his hands (the XY situation).

For every action there is a reaction. Though they do retraumatize eachother, NMJ does it more and more severely, with less justification. I can't even call them mutually abusive because NMJ is doing all the abuse, and JGY's actions are reactionary. These two should have gone separate ways after sunshot.

And sure, JGY killed him in a horrible way, but it was NMJ that made their relationship kill or get killed. NOT JGY. JGY went ahead with turmnoil after three separate murder attemps.

After the staircase scene showed him that their relationship was beyond salvation and that NMJ would never care to understand his previlege, or to ackowledge their inherent power imbalance, or to stop and listen (actually listen), or to stop and think that his authority as JGY's da-ge doesn't and won't ever override JGS's power as his father. (Especially with someone as filial as JGY is)

I love NMJ. I genuinely do. But this take is so toxic I need to pick it up with a damn hazmat suit.

And what pisses me off the most is that this post doesn't show a fundamental lack of understanding of NMJ's character! This is the way NMJ thinks! But he's an extremely biased narrator and his thoughts should not be taken at face value!

I've never interacted with this person before, but if I had to make a guess, I'd say they're very caugh up in analysing NMJ (which is valid, I love him too), but in their love for NMJ, they started taking his thought process and conclusions as fundamentally factual, which they are not. I could be wrong, but it is how this comes off.

Anyway. I'm done